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Zing!

1. Five goals in one period. How much does that hurt?
Alex Quigley: It really doesn't. 1-1 series tie, OH MY GOD FREAK OUT.
Evan F. Moore: Not as much as watching the Hawks teams in the early part of the century.
Phil Thompson: Like a Solange Knowles kick to the stick.
Jimmy Greenfield: Quite a bit, but mainly because I yanked a fingernail out each time the Kings scored.
Bag Boy: I won't forget about it until the Blackhawks win the series.
2. How strong is your faith in Corey Crawford right about now?
Alex Quigley: Higher than his save percentage, which is still really high.
Evan F. Moore: Pretty good. Many Hawks fans conveniently forget who was between the pipes when the team won the Cup.
Phil Thompson: As much as I believe Mexico's World Cup team can enforce a no-sex rule.
Jimmy Greenfield: I was baptized in ice shavings from his skates so you tell me.
Bag Boy: About as strong as my faith in the federal government.
3. When Memorial Day weekend is over, the Blackhawks will ...
Alex Quigley: ... not be behind in this series.
Evan F. Moore: ... find a way to win by catching up on the "Game of Thrones" episodes they might have missed.
Phil Thompson: ... be barbecued.
Jimmy Greenfield: ... be a lot more confident than their fans.
Bag Boy: ... in control of this series. Book it.
4. Why is President Obama such a big fan of the "Legion of Boom"?
Alex Quigley: [Drone joke that really isn't all that funny.]
Evan F. Moore: Both of them know what it is like to draw the ire of the cable news networks.
Phil Thompson: Richard Sherman's a strong asset in Senate negotiations: "Don't you ever filibuster against the best!"
Jimmy Greenfield: He eats a lot of chili.
Bag Boy: He likes the underdogs, always has.
5. Who is the Mallory Edens of Chicago sports?
Alex Quigley: Jennifer Kennedy. Or perhaps Alex P. Eisenhower. Maybe Uncle Nick Stevenson?
Evan F. Moore: Patrick Kane. Both of them like to yell "Showtime!" Full Disclosure: I had to Google her name.
Phil Thompson: Virginia McCaskey, who probably thinks "Twitter" is some young whippersnapper's word for "relations."
Jimmy Greenfield: OHMYGODDIDYOUSAYMALLORYEDENPURTYGIRLHUBBAHUBBAZOWIEBOING!
Bag Boy: It's someone who achieved fame by looking good on TV. So, certain Comcast reporters I would think.
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