1. What's the first thing Jared Allen should do when he gets to Chicago?
|Kate Bernot: Apologize. Just ... for everything.|
|Evan F. Moore: Get a six-wing dinner with mild sauce from Harold's.|
|Phil Thompson: Ditch the calf-roping sack dance. People here only move their arms like that when they're stirring marinara.|
|Leonor Vivanco: Stop by RedEye's offices for an interview, obviously.|
|Bag Boy: Buy Julius Peppers' house.|
2. Patrick Sharp is to photobombing as ...
|Kate Bernot: ... conga lines are to dance floors. Everything's OK if it's for a wedding.|
|Evan F. Moore: ... Illinois schools are to losing out on blue-chip basketball prospects on an annual basis.|
|Phil Thompson: ... irony is to newlywed hockey fans starting off their marriage in a penalty box: They penalty-killed it.|
|Leonor Vivanco: ... Seth Rogen and James Franco are to spoofing Kimye's Vogue cover. It's unexpected, funny and makes me smile.|
|Bag Boy: ... I am to photo sharing. Think about it.|
3. What drill would you have Derrick Rose do while he rehabs his knee?
|Kate Bernot: Pliés. Trust me, as a former ballet dancer, I know about knees and pliés.|
|Evan F. Moore: He should do the Nae-Nae over and over again.|
|Phil Thompson: I'd rather have his knee undergo counseling.|
|Leonor Vivanco: Some kung fu fighting kicks Chuck Norris-style, of course.|
|Bag Boy: The give and go to Joakim Noah drill. Get to know it.|
4. How are the Cubs and Sox spending the last weekend before the season begins?
|Kate Bernot: In sweet, sweet, delusional bliss.|
|Evan F. Moore: Celebrating the fact that they are undefeated at this point in time.|
|Phil Thompson: Looking at their own rosters and asking, "Is that it?"|
|Leonor Vivanco: Partying like it's the last day of spring break and you've got to head back to school.|
|Bag Boy: Cubs: Wishing it were 2015. Sox: Quietly thinking playoffs. Sshhh.|
5. The White Sox are expanding to Snapchat. What could go wrong?
|Kate Bernot: Just don't get Clark the Cub on there.|
|Evan F. Moore: That Snapchat might be the highlight of the season.|
|Phil Thompson: Players get busted for Soxting.|
|Leonor Vivanco: We could end up seeing photos of a lot of bats and balls.|
|Bag Boy: Dudes, athletes, cameras, women, fans. Oh, the possibilities!|