1. What's the first thing Jared Allen should do when he gets to Chicago?
Kate Bernot: Apologize. Just ... for everything.
Evan F. Moore: Get a six-wing dinner with mild sauce from Harold's.
Phil Thompson: Ditch the calf-roping sack dance. People here only move their arms like that when they're stirring marinara.
Leonor Vivanco: Stop by RedEye's offices for an interview, obviously.
Bag Boy: Buy Julius Peppers' house.
2. Patrick Sharp is to photobombing as ...
Kate Bernot: ... conga lines are to dance floors. Everything's OK if it's for a wedding.
Evan F. Moore: ... Illinois schools are to losing out on blue-chip basketball prospects on an annual basis.
Phil Thompson: ... irony is to newlywed hockey fans starting off their marriage in a penalty box: They penalty-killed it.
Leonor Vivanco: ... Seth Rogen and James Franco are to spoofing Kimye's Vogue cover. It's unexpected, funny and makes me smile.
Bag Boy: ... I am to photo sharing. Think about it.
3. What drill would you have Derrick Rose do while he rehabs his knee?
Kate Bernot: Pliés. Trust me, as a former ballet dancer, I know about knees and pliés.
Evan F. Moore: He should do the Nae-Nae over and over again.
Phil Thompson: I'd rather have his knee undergo counseling.
Leonor Vivanco: Some kung fu fighting kicks Chuck Norris-style, of course.
Bag Boy: The give and go to Joakim Noah drill. Get to know it.
4. How are the Cubs and Sox spending the last weekend before the season begins?
Kate Bernot: In sweet, sweet, delusional bliss.
Evan F. Moore: Celebrating the fact that they are undefeated at this point in time.
Phil Thompson: Looking at their own rosters and asking, "Is that it?"
Leonor Vivanco: Partying like it's the last day of spring break and you've got to head back to school.
Bag Boy: Cubs: Wishing it were 2015. Sox: Quietly thinking playoffs. Sshhh.
5. The White Sox are expanding to Snapchat. What could go wrong?
Kate Bernot: Just don't get Clark the Cub on there.
Evan F. Moore: That Snapchat might be the highlight of the season.
Phil Thompson: Players get busted for Soxting.
Leonor Vivanco: We could end up seeing photos of a lot of bats and balls.
Bag Boy: Dudes, athletes, cameras, women, fans. Oh, the possibilities!