A certain panelist is hung up on the new X-Men movie. If only we had the power to calm him down, like, uh, alcohol.
1. Why have Patrick Kane and Patrick Sharp struggled against L.A.?
|Scott Bolohan: They're allergic to kale.|
|Jay St. Pierre: "'Cause they so cute!" Sorry folks, that was my co-worker's answer.|
|John Dooley: The Kings are pa-tricking the Hawks offense! Yeah. That's all I got.|
|Elliott Serrano: The same reason Kitty Pryde was able to send Wolverine back in time in the latest X-Men movie: there is none.|
|Stick Figure: Maybe they keep accidentally stealing each other's passes.|
2. Now that Andrew Shaw is back with the Blackhawks ...
|Scott Bolohan: ... they can start the conference finals.|
|Jay St. Pierre: ... Shaw needs to find a "shank" and get "redemption." See what I did there? "Shawshank Redemption"? Like the movie!|
|John Dooley: ... we can sit Bollig now! Oh. No. Wait.|
|Elliott Serrano: Seriously though, why make up powers for a character when Professor X could have done it?|
|Stick Figure: ... he can tell everyone where the Hawks offense is.|
3. Who would pay $820 for Mark Sanchez's "butt fumble" jersey?
|Scott Bolohan: Me. I love butts!|
|Jay St. Pierre: Mark Sanchez. He probably wants to cherish his only claim to fame.|
|John Dooley: Somebody with an asselent sense of humor.|
|Elliott Serrano: Sanchez? So he could burn it?|
|Stick Figure: Why was he wearing his jersey on his butt?|
4. What will the World Cup be like without Landon Donovan?
|Scott Bolohan: Sensual.|
|Jay St. Pierre: Wait ... "world cup" ... Is that some sort of sporting equipment?|
|John Dooley: Filled with rioting and vuvuzelas -- is it any other way?|
|Elliott Serrano: Like an X-Men movie without Wolverine! You assume it will be bad but it isn't.|
|Stick Figure: It probably have more hair. I wish I had more hair.|
5. Make a prediction for the French Open.
|Scott Bolohan: The winner is going to "love" it. Get it? Love is a tennis term.|
|Jay St. Pierre: Je ne parle pas français!|
|John Dooley: I have a hunch that a woman with a tough-to-pronounce eastern European last name will win!|
|Elliott Serrano: It will make more money than "Man of Steel," just like the X-Men movie.|
|Stick Figure: All the players are going to need new clothes. That clay is filthy.|
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