Couldn't catch that flight to Rio? Don't sweat it. The World Cup is an extremely festive occasion wherever you are. Bars and restaurants in every corner of Chicago let you watch coverage all day.
And it's not just Americans cheering for Team USA. No matter where you watch, you're bound to meet fans from every country having a good time.
Like a good designated driver, we've beset you with soccer pickup lines you should definitely NOT use while out on the town this month. Regardless of how much you've had to drink. You're welcome.
Argentina: I'd love to get all hot and Messi with you.
Cameroon: You're even prettier than Cameroon Diaz.
Uruguay: Uruguay hotter than all the other singles here.
Brazil: You put the "beautiful" in The Beautiful Game.
Greece: I'll make you say, "Opa!"
England: I just wanna be your crown jewel.
Iran: As soon as I saw you, beautiful, Iran over here.
Switzerland: I'm neutral. I go both ways.
Japan: Come with me and you'll see the land of the rising sun.
Algeria: When you're sad and blue, Algeria up.
Chile: I could be the spice in your Chile.
The Netherlands: There's a reason the Dutch say, "Orange on top!"
Germany: Hey, would you like to see mein Mannschaft?
Ghana: You and I are Ghana have an awesome time together.
USA: Like Tim Howard, I'm a keeper.
Andy Frye is a RedEye special contributor.
Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page.