1. Let's have your best Red Wings trash talk.
Twitter/Facebook: @JetSetVegas You guys are named after a brand of work boot.
Evan F. Moore: No postseason! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
Tracy Swartz: Detroit.
Bag Boy: Financially solvent yet?
2. What's your Selection Sunday ritual?
Twitter/Facebook: @KeithMAnderson Same as every Sunday. Figure out how to beat a hangover and locate my pants.
Evan F. Moore: Laughing at the possibility that my alma mater might be a sacrificial lamb to Duke or Kansas.
Tracy Swartz: Cheering on the Gators. Literally, no one can top.
Jimmy Greenfield: I slaughter live chickens and revive dead ones.
Bag Boy: 1) Watch Big Ten title game 2) Nap 3) Read brackets in next day's papers.
3. How did Lovie Smith lure Josh McCown to the Buccaneers?
Twitter/Facebook: Brian Thompson: Cronuts homie. Cronuts.
Evan F. Moore: He showed McCown pictures of Wednesday's snowfall -- and naked photos of Marc Trestman.
Tracy Swartz: With a warm embrace.
Jimmy Greenfield: The Bucs play in Florida so if it doesn't work out, he's already there to start his retirement.
Bag Boy: 10 million dollars plus the chance to die in obscurity. Who could resist?
4. What does Lamarr Houston mean when he says: "The Monsters of the Midway are back"?
Twitter/Facebook: @StanDeCwikielJr And they're funnier than ever in, "The Monsters of the Midway Go To Japan!"
Evan F. Moore: That Bears fans won't have to call for a search party for their linemen like they did for Peppers/McClellin last season.
Tracy Swartz: That he caught the Blackhawks game at Soldier Field. Finally, a championship team there.
Jimmy Greenfield: I think it means, and I might be overthinking this, that the Monsters of the Midway are back.
Bag Boy: He's being paid like a leader so I guess he's talking like one.
5. A pitcher injuring himself stepping on a cactus is like ...
Twitter/Facebook: Vince LiFonti: ... a newspaper reporter getting a paper cut.
Evan F. Moore: ... posting factually inaccurate "hockey players are tougher" memes. Makes no sense.
Tracy Swartz: ... a good excuse for needling.
Jimmy Greenfield: ... the opposite of an innocent cactus getting crushed by a really stupid pitcher.
Bag Boy: ... a GM being stung by a scorpion. That was last year.