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We see you

The Miami are scary, but it has nothing to do with the mask LeBron James wears. We're just afraid Dwyane Wade's knees will collapse any second.

RedEye

4:56 PM CST, January 12, 2014

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1. LeBron James and Miami visit the UC on Sunday. Who's your favorite masked man/woman?
Twitter/Facebook: @vmoon54 Bruce Jenner! He just wears the plastic mask in his skin.
Evan F. Moore: Dumb Donald from Fat Albert.
Phil Thompson: Christian Grey ... is what I predict Jimmy Greenfield's answer will be.
Jimmy Greenfield: Chris Kelsch.
Bag Boy: Kirk Hinrich. Love the dental assistant goggles.
2. What should the Bears look for in a new punter?
Twitter/Facebook: ¿@StanDeCwikielJr Good computer skills, the ability to cook French food, and a big truck for beer runs!
Evan F. Moore: Besides the obvious, they have to be able to play free safety.
Phil Thompson: A bionic leg? (Now see, that's the failing of comedy. Why not make your whole body bionic, then you can play any position.)
Jimmy Greenfield: Somebody with a good leg. Or two great arms.
Bag Boy: One who remembers what a "coffin corner" kick is.
3. Convince the NFL to bring the Super Bowl to Chicago.
Twitter/Facebook: Danielle Mintzlaff: If you do not, then the commissioner has to do the Polar Plunge in a bikini.
Evan F. Moore: Come to Chicago. We have all the Malort you can stand.
Phil Thompson: So NHL fans can endure a winter game at Soldier Field but NFL fans can't? And football's" tougher"?
Jimmy Greenfield: Our hookers cost less than parking.
Bag Boy: That weather we had during the hockey game? That like, never happens!
4. Duke's Jabari Parker baking treats for fans makes him ...
Twitter/Facebook: ¿@Losso_Fitness ... kind of creepy.
Evan F. Moore: Spend the dough on a defensive tackle who won't get blocked into the Field Museum.
Phil Thompson: ... a Jabakery.
Jimmy Greenfield: ... in violation of NCAA bylaw 4.321 (unsanctioned act of kindness) and he has been suspended for two games.
Bag Boy: ... aw. The Betty Crocker of hoops. I'll bet the Duke fans were still arrogant jerks.
5. What's a backfoot slider?
Twitter/Facebook: @Call_Me_CeeJay That's what I did just before falling outside on the ice. DAMN YOU CRUEL POLAR VORTEX.
Evan F. Moore: A new dance craze?
Phil Thompson: Again, it's something Jimmy learned from "Fifty Shades of Grey."
Jimmy Greenfield: A pitch thrown by a guy doing bong hits while eating a White Castle hamburger.
Bag Boy: A pitch aimed at the batter's back foot. Sometimes they swing and miss at pitches that hit them!