1. The first weekend of March Madness is ...
|Alex Quigley: ... when your Billion Dollar Dream dies.|
|Evan F. Moore: ... one of the great inventions of our time along with the HDMI cord and Netflix.|
|Phil Thompson: ... usually when I have the wake for my bracket.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: ... responsible for the greatest drop in work productivity besides just being a really crappy worker.|
|Bag Boy: ... like you're an addict and basketball is all the drugs you can get. Only you don't have to worry about dying from it!|
2. If you were an NCAA tournament announcer, what would be your catchphrase?
|Alex Quigley: "Sweet holy mother[bleep]!" My career would be brief.|
|Evan F. Moore: "Look at the flowers Lizzie! Boom!"|
|Phil Thompson: After a monster dunk, I say, "You can't buy that at the farmers market!" Which is why I'm not on TV.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: "GRAB YOUR CROTCH AND GIVE IT A TWIRL, THAT ONE HURT!"|
|Bag Boy: When someone dunks the basketball I would scream "Two Points!"|
3. What was Derrick Rose thinking when LeBron James got his own Sprite drink?
|Alex Quigley: "Reggie, get the Jolt people on the phone IMMEDIATELY."|
|Evan F. Moore: "I guess LeBron flopped to get that endorsement huh?"|
|Phil Thompson: He's really surprised a Miami player made a deal that didn't involve Coke.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: "Dammit, I just tore another ligament in my knee."|
|Bag Boy: "I'm gonna have one of those too, but mine is going to be a Shasta. They still make those?"|
4. Tell us something about the Carolina Hurricanes, the Hawks' opponent Friday.
|Alex Quigley: They used to be the Hartford Whalers. They were cooler then.|
|Evan F. Moore: Why does North Carolina have a hockey team? Seattle? Quebec? Hello!|
|Phil Thompson: Carolina's secondary logo is the "Storm Warning Flag" -- and I didn't get that from Wikipedia.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: They're very glad they don't have to play against Patrick Kane.|
|Bag Boy: They were originally the New England Whalers in 1971 and played some of their games at the Boston Garden.|
5. If titanium golf clubs can start fires, what should players use instead?
|Alex Quigley:If "Mario Golf" has taught me anything, Yoshi's tongue.|
|Evan F. Moore: Stay with those golf clubs. Maybe it will help the PGA's ratings.|
|Phil Thompson: You know what else in golf starts fires? Match play. I'm here all week, ladies and germs.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Fireproof titanium golf clubs.|
|Bag Boy: I guess we're down to Wiffle golf. Boring as heck, but we'll be safe.|