1. Before training camp begins, Bears players must ...
Sidney Brown: ... rehearse the "Super Bowl Shuffle."
Kate Bernot: ... write their last names on the insides of their socks, T-shirts and boxers. Camp rules.
Scott Bolohan: ... finish their "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" essays.
Aly Morris (RedEye design director, @alyson_morris): ... finish hibernating.
Angi Taylor: ... train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins! *Hulk Hogan voice*
2. Are you giving the White Sox any shot at the playoffs at this point?
Sidney Brown: *sings* "Don't Stop Believing." Remember 2005? LOL!
Kate Bernot: If we all clap loudly enough, Tinkerbell comes back to life AND the Sox make it!
Scott Bolohan: Maybe if they're involved in something besides professional baseball also with playoffs.
Aly Morris (RedEye design director, @alyson_morris): As much of a shot as a red sock not turning a white load of laundry pink.
Angi Taylor: Yes. They can still make the playoffs on my Xbox MLB game.
3. The Cubs' pitching has been awful lately. What can the team do to ease fans' minds?
Sidney Brown: Hire the cast from "Pitch Perfect" to perform the latest hits during the seventh-inning stretch!
Kate Bernot: Start sending flowers to the Athletics' bullpen: "We miss you. Come home."
Scott Bolohan: Arsenic.
Aly Morris (RedEye design director, @alyson_morris): Free Taco Bell.
Angi Taylor: By reminding them the season is almost over and soon they'll be out of their misery.
4. The Brewers scored on a play straight out of "Major League." How awesome was that movie?
Sidney Brown: It was awesome like Dennis Rodman's "Emmy-winning" performance with Jean Claude Van Damme in "Double Team."
Kate Bernot: ... the fur really flies.
Scott Bolohan: Just a bit.
Aly Morris (RedEye design director, @alyson_morris): As awesome as the Wild Thing hairstyle.
Angi Taylor: As awesome as seeing drunk "Rick Vaughn" crawl out of the bushes at Taco Bell last week!
5. Fill in the blank: Even ____ has a brighter future than Tiger Woods right now.
Sidney Brown: A Vanilla Ice comeback album.
Kate Bernot: My macaroni salad Kickstarter.
Scott Bolohan: "Even Stevens" star Shia LeBeouf
Aly Morris (RedEye design director, @alyson_morris): Comic Sans.
Angi Taylor: The entire city of Detroit.