1. The Bears' 2014 schedule is out. Discuss.
|Bear Jordan: Jay Cutler is already deciding at which Disney park he will spend his post-Super Bowl celebration.|
|Evan F. Moore: I'd like to take this opportunity to remind Bears fans that Jay Cutler is the quarterback. Like it or not.|
|Tracy Swartz: I've never had Lion for Thanksgiving.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: The Bears will go 8-8 in games in which Jay Cutler is vastly overrated.|
|Bag Boy: At San Fran, at New England, both losses. The rest, pick 'em!|
2. How will the Bulls' weekend in Washington, D.C., turn out?
|Bear Jordan: Better than games 1 and 2. Or else.|
|Evan F. Moore: It will be a short one. Don't forget to talk your congressman about the tour.|
|Tracy Swartz: They need a comeback to come back.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: They'll be invited to visit President Obama on Sunday to get a pardon after the sweep.|
|Bag Boy: The games will be won or lost much along party lines, like most legislation.|
3. Corey Crawford is to the Blackhawks as ...
|Bear Jordan: ... I am to picnics. You're a little scared, but deep down you'd miss me if I didn't show up.|
|Evan F. Moore: ... an engine is to a Chevy Caprice. You won't go anywhere without it.|
|Tracy Swartz: ... weather is to Chicago. Time for a turnaround. Freezing our bleepin' nuts off.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: ... cog is to machine. You think Crawford's not important? Wake. Up.|
|Bag Boy: You kind of hate him till you realize there is no one else, then you kind of love him. Huh?|
4. What will U.S. Cellular Field's 100th anniversary celebration be like?
|Bear Jordan: It will be impossible to tell because no one will go.|
|Evan F. Moore: Not bad. They can at least show the fans a World Series trophy.|
|Tracy Swartz: The Cubs will lose.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: It will coincide as the 47th anniversary of the day U.S. Cellular Field was torn down.|
|Bag Boy: The surrounding area known as "Comiskeyville," full of bars, restaurants and condos, will be hopping that day!|
5. What would you do with a 400-pound Wrigley Field cake?
|Bear Jordan: Look at me. I think that answers that question.|
|Evan F. Moore: Schedule a root canal beforehand. That's a whole lot of cake.|
|Tracy Swartz: Eat it, just like the Cubs.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: See if it can close. Can't do any worse than Veras, Strop, et al.|
|Bag Boy: Normally I'd eat it, but my current financial situation means a quick posting on E-bay. Highest bid takes it.|