1. Make a sports prediction for August.
|Alex Quigley: USA vs Spain for the FIBA World Cup final. Really!|
|Evan F. Moore: Somewhere in America, a team will win and another one will lose.|
|Tracy Swartz: The Cubs will sizzle in August. Only because of the heat.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: I will anger people by saying Jay Cutler will never win a Super Bowl. Perhaps even on Aug. 1.|
|Bag Boy: True story: My boss is British, and he loves soccer. Damn it!|
2. One week until the Bears' preseason opener. How excited are you?
|Alex Quigley: Irrationally so. I love me some two-deep charts!|
|Evan F. Moore: Lukewarm, it's only preseason. It's like watching a movie trailer.|
|Tracy Swartz: I will be more excited when the Eagles have landed.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: As excited as a 90-year-old man who ran out of Viagra.|
|Bag Boy: On a 1-100 scale, I say 76!|
3. If Jay Cutler can be the NFL's MVP ...
|Alex Quigley: I know you're expecting a snarky answer, but I agree with B-Marsh.|
|Evan F. Moore: ... then I can win a Pulitzer. See, there's nothing wrong with having lofty goals.|
|Tracy Swartz: ... then now we know he can spell MVP.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: ... then I will eat a copy of the newspaper you're reading. (FYI, long live print!)|
|Bag Boy: ... Kyle Fuller can win rookie of the year.|
4. Grammar errors on Hall of Fame plaques: Who's to blame?
|Alex Quigley: I thought we agreed to blame everything bad in baseball on Bud Selig?|
|Evan F. Moore: The Stonecutters. "Who keeps the Hall of Fame on their butts?" We do!|
|Tracy Swartz: Whom cares? Don't hassle the H.O.F.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: The nation's school principles.|
|Bag Boy: Our education system.|
5. Who benefits most from Derrick Rose's return to the court?
|Alex Quigley: America, my frent. America.|
|Evan F. Moore: It is a toss-up between Nikola Mirotic and Doug McDermott. One of the two has to benefit.|
|Tracy Swartz: The knee brace industry supports his return.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Your Chicago Bulls. Is this a trick question?|
|Bag Boy: The media. Helps them move on from Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Love.|