Joakim Noah and LeBron James

It's pretty much impossible, but it'd be riveting if Joakim Noah presented LeBron James for the NBA Hall of Fame. (Scott Strazzante / Chicago Tribune / May 10, 2013)

So this is happening. ESPN.com reports that 17 years after Mike Tyson bit off Evander Holyfield's ear during their championship rematch, Tyson will present Holyfield when the latter is inducted into the Nevada Boxing Hall of Fame in Las Vegas on Aug. 9.

Although we applaud the boxers' ability to let bygones be bygones, it's an odd pairing to say the least. Same goes for if these athletes were to present their competitive nemeses.

Any member of Cubs management, on Greg Maddux

"Please forgive us, Greg!" *sobbing* We never meant to let you go to Atlanta!" *grabs another tissue* "What we wouldn't give to turn back time!"

Corey Crawford, on Jonathan Quick

Whoa, you should have heard the French from the Hawks goaltender. Both the curse words AND the actual French language, which also included a lot of curse words.

Joe Morgan, on Ryne Sandberg

"Psssh, I don't care what his numbers are. If he didn't play on the Big Red Machine, he's not a Hall of Famer."

Brian Urlacher, on Brett Favre

"Haha, very funny, but I'm not falling for it again. You know Brett's latest 'retirement' is a crock. And when he comes back, I'm signing with a division rival. I'm gunning for the sacks record."

Joakim Noah, on LeBron James

"We all know how I feel about Cleveland. Now multiply that by 10. That's how I felt when we lost to LeBron." [Not that anyone would be able to hear Noah through all the teeth grinding.]

Scottie Pippen, on Patrick Ewing

"Hey, Patrick, remember that time I dunked on you in the playoffs, then literally walked over you? Yeah, that was awesome." *drops mic*

Michael Jordan, on Bill Laimbeer

"Bill, I want you to know I should not have tried to punch you. I now know I should have just bitten your ear off."

Andrew Shaw, on Zdeno Chara

"I'm not here to pick a fight with you, Zdeno. I'm way past that. And that's why I brought Dave Bautista."

Jared Allen, on Julius Peppers

"Why yes, Julius, winning Chicago's first Super Bowl since the 1985 season WAS awesome. Sorry you missed out on that." [Editor's note: Check back in a few years to see if Allen has a leg to stand on.]

 

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