1. How can the Bears protect their players from injury during training camp?
Stick Figure: By not making them sleep outside.
Evan F. Moore: By canceling training camp. Wait a minute. That doesn't make any sense. Or maybe it does ...
Tracy Swartz: Wear rubber.
Jimmy Greenfield: Instead of two-a-days, have none-a-days.
Bag Boy: Go to a "flag football only" model for camp.
2. Who will win the Bears' race for backup quarterback?
Stick Figure: The person who can outrun Jared Allen. He's terrible to quarterbacks!
Evan F. Moore: It doesn't matter. Bears fans like any of them over Cutler already.
Tracy Swartz: Sigh, does everything have to be about race?
Jimmy Greenfield: This matters in the same way it matters who your undertaker is.
Bag Boy: David Fales! From out of nowhere!
3. In his Hall of Fame induction speech, Frank Thomas should be sure to thank ...
Stick Figure: ... the nice people who set up the microphone and podium.
Evan F. Moore: ... Bonds, Sosa and McGwire for taking a shortcut to baseball stardom.
Tracy Swartz: ... non-union laborers.
Jimmy Greenfield: ... former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. That would just be kind of cool.
Bag Boy: ... maybe Hawk Harrelson for that nickname. One of the greatest.
4. How will Greg Maddux celebrate his Hall of Fame induction?
Stick Figure: With cake and ice cream!
Evan F. Moore: He should thank the Cubs for making him rich and famous in Atlanta.
Tracy Swartz: With a Cubs loss.
Jimmy Greenfield: By taking an 11-year vacation to Atlanta. Worked out well for him the last time.
Bag Boy: Based on his appearance, a glass of wine and a good book.
5. Two huge soccer friendlies come to Chicago this weekend. You still have World Cup fever?
Stick Figure: Hold on. I'll have my mom take my temperature to see if I do.
Evan F. Moore: My team (Arsenal) isn't coming here, so I may not be as interested.
Tracy Swartz: Nope, I remembered the dengue mosquito netting.
Jimmy Greenfield: Nope, it's in the attic with my MC Hammer pants and 8-track player.
Bag Boy: I do have World Cup fever! I do, I do, I do! When does it start?