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redeyechicago.com

So Saad

Brandon Saad has had a tough time lately. But not as tough as the RedEye crew. Just ask Ernest.

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. What should the Blackhawks do for their fans in the regular-season home finale?
Leonor Vivanco: Forget the rally towels. Every fan should get a free beer! Right?
Stanley's Cup: Um, me. I can never have too many friends.
Soxman: Criss Angel performs, making fans' caps disappear: a real hat trick for Blackhawks fans.
Brad Zibung: Free head gear for all after four players get hat tricks in a 16-0 rout of Montreal.
Ernest Wilkins: Applaud Mike Hines. Seriously.
2. How can Brandon Saad get back on Coach Quenneville's good side?
Leonor Vivanco: The Saadfather needs to make Coach Q an offer he can't refuse. Or beg for mercy.
Stanley's Cup: Two words: vodka tonics.
Soxman: Send opposing teams' goalies to the Phantom Zone, making them kneel before Saad!
Brad Zibung: He could be one of the guys with a hat trick Wednesday night.
Ernest Wilkins: You may not recognize that name but you should.
3. The Bulls will grab the No. 3 seed in the East if they ...
Leonor Vivanco: ... go after the basketball as quickly, fast and focused as my dog chases a tennis ball.
Stanley's Cup: ... wear Raptor repellant.
Soxman: ... avoid the flood and believe salvation is possible through Noah's arc (shooting arc, that is).
Brad Zibung: ... beat a bunch of teams that are mostly so bad they don't even belong in the league. I have faith they'll pull it off.
Ernest Wilkins: He's the man behind organizing a lot of the paper. Gave me the Chicago's Wingman name.
4. If athletes can't take selfies with the president anymore, what should they do instead?
Leonor Vivanco: Create a secret handshake with the president.
Stanley's Cup: Exchange noogies.
Soxman: Take the Selfies and Professionals (SAP) class taught by Anthony Weiner and Brett Favre.
Brad Zibung: They can still take selfies, just not if they're being paid a handsome and silent endorsement to do so.
Ernest Wilkins: This is the last week of his tenure at Redeye. I'll miss him terribly.
5. Give us a reason to watch a Tiger Woods-less Masters tournament.
Leonor Vivanco: I wouldn't watch with or without him. Unless I wanted to fall asleep in front of the TV.
Stanley's Cup: Maybe Lindsey Vonn will show up anyway?
Soxman: Patrick Reed. He may be a better closer than former White Sox pitcher Addison Reed.
Brad Zibung: I think you just gave us all the reason. No Tiger means more coverage of everyone else. We all win!
Ernest Wilkins: Thanks #HIIIINES! We love ya, baby! Go Ducks!