1. The first period of the Hawks-Wild Game 3 was as boring as ...
Matt Pais: ... paint and molasses watching a snail play golf.
Katie Gibson: ... early-season baseball. I just can't.
Bear Jordan: ... Drake and his lint roller.
Kat Velez: ... a regular-season Wild game.
Michael Walton II: ... watching the Bulls play offense in the pre-Melo era.
2. What would Joakim Noah have said if he had been named NBA MVP?
Matt Pais: "The world is full of questions without answers. What do dogs dream about?"
Katie Gibson: "Derrick who?"
Bear Jordan: "You're next, Marcin Gortat."
Kat Velez: "Thanks to Derrick Rose for withdrawing himself from consideration again this year."
Michael Walton II: "You know, I just want to thank Melo for inspiring me to play so well this year. We'll be even better next year."
3. What is the REAL reason Niklas Hjalmarsson lost his voice?
Matt Pais: Full-Contact Karaoke. #patentpending
Katie Gibson: Too many Swedish Viking activities.
Bear Jordan: He loaned it to Tom Thibodeau. And still hasn't gotten it back.
Kat Velez: To avoid talking to some of these beat writers.
Michael Walton II: He's been yelling so much trying to get Carmelo Anthony to sign with Chicago.
4. What memory do you have from the Crosstown Classic so far?
Matt Pais: Was at Monday's pitchers' duel. It was fun. And cold.
Katie Gibson: Jeff Samardzijawjsya's ridiculous mullet thing.
Bear Jordan: Jose Abreu. That's the answer to all baseball questions right now.
Kat Velez: The one where RedEye reminded me that it was happening.
Michael Walton II: My favorite memory is that time I didn't watch the Crosstown Classic so I could watch Melo Syracuse highlights.
5. What was going through Jay Cutler's mind as he read Josh McCown's Piccolo Award acceptance speech?
Matt Pais: "I never win anything. I'm sad. [Looks at bank account.] OK, better."
Katie Gibson: "Uh, guys? Wrong veteran, am I right? Right? Guys?"
Bear Jordan: "Sigh. Blond dudes have all the fun."
Kat Velez: "Please don't have big words I'll need to sound out."
Michael Walton II: His thoughts were "what's a Piccolo award?" and "Carmelo won't take my job, will he?"