1. When will the Cubs finally score a run this season?
|Courtney Linehan: I'd have a funnier answer if the question was "when will the Cubs finally score?"|
|Julie DiCaro: I'll take April 17. Don't tell me I'm not an optimist!|
|Soxman: Guarantee: When I bench Anthony Rizzo on my fantasy team, they'll score tons.|
|Brad Zibung: Does it really matter?of the game.|
|Ernest Wilkins: When the Angels win the postseason, son. Wait, that's not right.|
2. How many home runs will Alejandro De Aza hit this season?
|Courtney Linehan: Getting people excited for this season will be the biggest home run of all.|
|Julie DiCaro: He's on pace to hit 324, but that's not realistic, so I'll say 151.|
|Soxman: At his current pace, 324. Alas, Opening Day brings out the Tuffy Rhodes in all of us.|
|Brad Zibung: Well he's now got 30 for his career. So definitely 50-plus.|
|Ernest Wilkins: 32. Also, how messed up was the dad in "Angels in the Outfield"?|
3. What did Bears lineman Jared Allen mean when he said, "I have a lot left in the tank"?
|Courtney Linehan: He rented a Prius for the drive from Minnesota?|
|Julie DiCaro: He'd gorged on Taco Bell the night before. Let's leave it at that.|
|Soxman: I refuse to make a gas joke (as in flatulence), so Far Away Retirement Time.|
|Brad Zibung: "I'm definitely going to be better than Julius Peppers this year."|
|Ernest Wilkins: He drove here from Minnesota, probably? I mean, maybe he has an electric car or something.|
4. How can the Hawks get payback for Jonathan Toews' injury?
|Courtney Linehan: Better question: How can I get my money back for the playoff tickets I bought last week?|
|Julie DiCaro: By sending a strongly worded letter.|
|Soxman: Add a true enforcer skater to the roster. I hear Tonya Harding is available.|
|Brad Zibung: Hopefully with a long playoff run?|
|Ernest Wilkins: Google "ECW Eliminators Total Elimination." That. With skates on.|
5. The Bulls' schedule is so soft the rest of the season ...
|Courtney Linehan: ... even Derrick Rose's knees are stronger.|
|Julie DiCaro: ... LeBron flopped once, laid down and took a nap on it.|
|Soxman: ... the Charmin Tissue bear has something new he'd like to squeeze.|
|Brad Zibung: ... because most teams in the NBA are brutal.|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... that my rec league team is playing them next week. Let's go, Multiple Score-gasms!|