1. When will the Cubs finally score a run this season?
Courtney Linehan: I'd have a funnier answer if the question was "when will the Cubs finally score?"
Julie DiCaro: I'll take April 17. Don't tell me I'm not an optimist!
Soxman: Guarantee: When I bench Anthony Rizzo on my fantasy team, they'll score tons.
Brad Zibung: Does it really matter?of the game.
Ernest Wilkins: When the Angels win the postseason, son. Wait, that's not right.
2. How many home runs will Alejandro De Aza hit this season?
Courtney Linehan: Getting people excited for this season will be the biggest home run of all.
Julie DiCaro: He's on pace to hit 324, but that's not realistic, so I'll say 151.
Soxman: At his current pace, 324. Alas, Opening Day brings out the Tuffy Rhodes in all of us.
Brad Zibung: Well he's now got 30 for his career. So definitely 50-plus.
Ernest Wilkins: 32. Also, how messed up was the dad in "Angels in the Outfield"?
3. What did Bears lineman Jared Allen mean when he said, "I have a lot left in the tank"?
Courtney Linehan: He rented a Prius for the drive from Minnesota?
Julie DiCaro: He'd gorged on Taco Bell the night before. Let's leave it at that.
Soxman: I refuse to make a gas joke (as in flatulence), so Far Away Retirement Time.
Brad Zibung: "I'm definitely going to be better than Julius Peppers this year."
Ernest Wilkins: He drove here from Minnesota, probably? I mean, maybe he has an electric car or something.
4. How can the Hawks get payback for Jonathan Toews' injury?
Courtney Linehan: Better question: How can I get my money back for the playoff tickets I bought last week?
Julie DiCaro: By sending a strongly worded letter.
Soxman: Add a true enforcer skater to the roster. I hear Tonya Harding is available.
Brad Zibung: Hopefully with a long playoff run?
Ernest Wilkins: Google "ECW Eliminators Total Elimination." That. With skates on.
5. The Bulls' schedule is so soft the rest of the season ...
Courtney Linehan: ... even Derrick Rose's knees are stronger.
Julie DiCaro: ... LeBron flopped once, laid down and took a nap on it.
Soxman: ... the Charmin Tissue bear has something new he'd like to squeeze.
Brad Zibung: ... because most teams in the NBA are brutal.
Ernest Wilkins: ... that my rec league team is playing them next week. Let's go, Multiple Score-gasms!