1. Why is Kobe Bryant "scared" about his post-basketball future?
Sean Ely: Waking up every single day for the rest of his life with one fewer ring than M.J.
Pete McMurray: Kobe won't be able to blame his teammates post-hoops. Shaq and Dwight Howard may pop by his home too.
Sarah Spain: He never learned how to read?
Elliott Serrano: He knows Shaq is waiting for him in the parking lot.
Emily Brown: Who are we kidding? He may not be playing, but he can't let go of the sport.
2. Helmet cams in college football. Go.
Sean Ely: Now you can see a crippling concussion close up in full HD!
Pete McMurray: Cheerleader cams. BETTER!
Sarah Spain: An up-close and personal look at concussions, as they happen.
Elliott Serrano: Why not "mascot cams" for the next question?
Emily Brown: Never gonna happen.
3. Clark the Cub vs. Billy Cub. Who ya got?
Sean Ely: What I ''got'' is a problem with this question. Much like the Cubs roster, this question swung and missed.
Pete McMurray: The Cubs are STILL playing? Really? No, I'm serious. Really?
Sarah Spain: A billy club > both.
Elliott Serrano: I've seen Billy throw down on YouTube. Vicious.
Emily Brown: Clark the Cub. Let's stay official.
4. The Bulls' addition of Aaron Brooks is ...
Sean Ely: ... a pathetic attempt at building a "championship-caliber team." Aaron Brooks. Really? Mmk.
Pete McMurray: We'll need a guard when No. 1 goes down. C'mon, we all know he'll be out a few (or more) games.
Sarah Spain: ... going to totally make up for missing out on Melo.
Elliott Serrano: ... funny! Who knew that Albert Brooks had a kid who played basketball. Wait, what?
Emily Brown: ... backup in case Derrick Rose gets hurt -- again.
5. How are the Blackhawks going to handle their salary cap issues?
Sean Ely: Sell the M.J. statue outside the United Center on Craigslist.
Pete McMurray: In the Indian Head we trust.
Sarah Spain: No idea, but it better not involve trading Sharpie.
Elliott Serrano: They can amnesty Carlos Boozer, right?
Emily Brown: Toews and Kane are still here. That's all that matters.