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Re-Phil?

If Phil Jackson is coming back, Derrick Rose can't be far behind. Yeah, we're not buying it, either.

RedEye

4:56 PM CST, January 12, 2014

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1. What does Phil Jackson mean when he says he's "ready to get back to work" in the NBA? 
Sean Ely: Phil applied to be RedEye's newest Chicago Bulls beat writer. He might have good contacts in the industry, I'd imagine.
Pete McMurray: "Get me a team with superstars and I'll come back for a boatload of money."
Bear Jordan: He's taking his talents to Manhattan.
Elliott Serrano: I'm guessing "work" is the Knicks GM job, just so he can get back to annoying Pat Riley.
Emily Brown: He wants another ring. Why not go for an even 20? Only seven more to go.
2. If skateboarding becomes an Olympic sport ...
Sean Ely: ... they'll be required to give Tony Hawk 15 gold medals on principle alone. 
Pete McMurray: ... they'll legalize pot in Colorado! What? They did? 
Bear Jordan:  ... I will spit this salmon right out of my mouth.
Elliott Serrano:  ...I hope that roller derby isn't far behind.
Emily Brown: ... Tony Hawk will come out of retirement and win gold.
3. Give the Bears a strategy to follow for free agency.
Sean Ely: Sign an actual bear. Like, I really think teams should be allowed to play with one of their actual namesakes.
Pete McMurray: See a playmaker, spend money on a playmaker. Repeat.
Bear Jordan: I hear Devin Hester is going to be available ...
Elliott Serrano: When it comes to free agents, avoid the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. They work too slow.
Emily Brown: Avoid all Chris Conte-like moves.  
4. What have we learned from spring training so far?
Sean Ely: Baseball is almost back and OH MY GOD NORMALCY WILL FINALLY BE RESTORED IN CHICAGO AND WE CAN ALL STOP FEARING DEATH BY ICICLES. 
Pete McMurray: No one cares about two mediocre teams in Chicago. Let's Go Hawks!
Bear Jordan: The Cubs may never come out of hibernation.
Elliott Serrano: That I hate everyone who tweets pictures from sunny Arizona. *glares at Sarah Spain*
Emily Brown: The Cubs and the Sox both have (once again) losing records already. Chicago has no hope.
5. Why is Jonathan Toews on such an offensive hot streak?
Sean Ely: He's been keeping a stash of Peameal bacon, butter tart and poutine in his hockey bag.
Pete McMurray: The dude is a great. Great players step up in crunch time. Here comes the stretch run! 
Bear Jordan: Because Derrick Rose isn't using the hot sauce.
Elliott Serrano: Whoever stole Corey Crawford's pads also took Sidney Crosby's mojo and left it in Toews' locker.
Emily Brown: He's still on a high from winning Olympic gold last month.