1. Why can't the Blackhawks pull away from Anaheim in the standings?
Shaun Davis: Just creating a buildup to a playoff rival like San Jose in 2010. #sweepthem2
Julie DiCaro: Disney ducks don't wear pants. Hence, they are faster than other ducks.
Soxman: Anaheim has its ducks in a row but the Blackhawks will expose their quacks soon enough.
Brad Zibung: Insert Emilio Estevez joke here even though they're not called the Mighty Ducks anymore.
Ernest Wilkins: Better question: Why do hockey sweaters cost over $100?
2. Derrick Rose expects to be more dangerous from 3-point range upon returning. Discuss.
Shaun Davis: "Man this Uncle Drew character is stealing my shine. I'm MVP, but I want that 3-point trophy."
Julie DiCaro: He's not dangerous at all from his couch.
Soxman: Being more like Bird is better than flipping one at the thought of returning this year.
Brad Zibung: I'm hoping Rose never comes back so we can just keep speculating about how awesome it'll be when he does.
Ernest Wilkins: Can we just get to the "returning" part already?
3. Be honest: How many times have you reconfigured your NCAA bracket already?
Shaun Davis: Not much, but everybody lies and verbally changes picks after the games are played.
Julie DiCaro: Twelve, but they all end with the Hoosiers as the national champs, baby!
Soxman: It's already such a mess Viagra couldn't even straighten it out.
Brad Zibung: I thought I had it nailed and then I realized I was filling out one from 1993. If only Chris Webber didn't call that last timeout.
Ernest Wilkins: I haven't. Just ask yourself, "What would Project Pat do?" The answer will come.
4. What does Simeon's Jabari Parker get for being named national player of the year?
Shaun Davis: The Harley Race crown and scepter, plus Chicago has had one Wiggins enough.
Julie DiCaro: The honor of having Duke's mascot, Dickie V, drool all over him.
Soxman: A lifetime exemption from me using Jar-Jarbari Binks plays on his name in Fives.
Brad Zibung: A one-year trip to Durham, N.C.
Ernest Wilkins: A one-way trip to the smug virgin factory that is Duke University. My condolences.
5. Tiger Woods dating Lindsey Vonn is like ...
Shaun Davis: Like one of Tiger's putts -- a pause for effect, and the ball might drop in the hole. #sametigerreaction
Julie DiCaro: (Jay Cutler voice) Dooooon't caaaaare.
Soxman: ... getting a hole in one with a ski pole. It's all downhill from there.
Brad Zibung: ... a good idea for two people trying to find love even though everyone knows it'll eventually end very badly.
Ernest Wilkins: ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. No one should care about this. In related news, I'm dating Elena Hight.