1. What's wrong with the Blackhawks' power play?
|Clark Jones: I'm using it to charge my phone. Sorry, guys.|
|Frank Holland: They should fix it by pretending they are penalty killing?|
|Scott Bolohan: Refs have started noticing how many men are on the ice.|
|John Dooley: I'm blaming everything that happened Saturday on the presence of Jim Belushi.|
|Angi Taylor: More people on the ice means more tired players for the 12th overtime.|
2. Being a goaltender in a Stanley Cup Final is like ...
|Clark Jones: ... being the lonely friend at the bar, way too many clothes/block every shot.|
|Frank Holland: ... being a bartender in Miami after that Heat loss. Lots of shots!|
|Scott Bolohan: ... being Kanye's waiter at a French restaurant.|
|John Dooley: ... trying to watch "According to Jim": Painful, frenetic and scarring for life.|
|Angi Taylor: ... being 2 Chainz's bodyguard ... blocking lots of shots!|
3. What's the key to maintaining a playoff beard?
|Clark Jones: You gotta let them know BEFORE the Brazilian you don't want it touched.|
|Frank Holland: Realizing that your guy friends are more impressed than your lady friends.|
|Scott Bolohan: Being single.|
|John Dooley: Constant stroking. Of the beard, I mean.|
|Angi Taylor: Exfoliants and a baby comb.|
4. How could other Chicago teams get noticed during the Stanley Cup Final?
|Clark Jones: I'm putting Cubs hats on the Art Institute lions personally.|
|Frank Holland: Playoff beards and playoff-caliber teams? Just sayin' ...|
|Scott Bolohan: Fitted Cap Day.|
|John Dooley: Put in a crappy closer and have him blow a three-run lead.|
|Angi Taylor: Hire Tim Tebow.|
5. If your college had a fragrance, what would it smell like?
|Clark Jones: Sam Jackson's anger and Dr. Martin Luther King's dress shirts! Go Morehouse College!|
|Frank Holland: Lollipops and Now & Laters. Pitt is a like a candy store for teenage guys. (subliminal recruiting)|
|Scott Bolohan: Guilt.|
|John Dooley: SIU? You know that smell when people don't shower, smoke pot, and drink Honey Brown? Yeah, that one.|
|Angi Taylor: Zima, Zubaz and debt. (It was the ’90s).|
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