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Even in Japan, Chicago is the Second City

By Bag Boy

For RedEye

1:07 PM CST, January 23, 2014

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Stop me if this sounds familiar.

A rather hot commodity in baseball is out there to be had. He's exploring his options, looking for a big payday. It comes down to a couple of teams. One is the Cubs. One is the Yankees. It looks like it's going to be close but in the end the Yankees come in and offer too much. And by too much I mean money, history, talent, winning.

This should sound familiar because I wrote it when Joe Girardi chose the Yankees over the Cubs. Remember? That was like three months ago. And it wasn't close. I'm just changing the names. This time it's the pitcher from Japan, Masahiro Tanaka.

Of course this time the Yankees offered $155 million over seven years. The Cubs offered the future. Young talent, the 100th anniversary of Wrigley Field, dithering rooftop owners, and of course Clark the mascot.

Well played, Mr. Tanaka.

A quick update on Clark: Ten days in, he was last seen stumbling down Sheffield, vomiting in an alley, complaining about missing on Tanaka. Oh yeah, he'll fit right in.

I'm starting to feel like the jilted lover around here. Athletes love using Chicago … only to get a better deal elsewhere.

I say that so we can brace ourselves this summer. For more. Our old friend Lebron James can opt out of his deal in Miami. Some say Derrick Rose should recruit him to come here.

But here's how it goes down. He opts out, gets courted by every major market in the league, comes and visits the Bulls.

And re-signs with Miami for another boatload. Thank you, Chicago, for providing leverage.

By the way, you're just as pathetic, White Sox. Tanaka probably had to ask his people "Who was that other team from there?"

Nice try, Rick Hahn. At least you can fall back on some nice offseason moves. For the Cubs, you know, hey, we had a great convention!

I don't understand Chicago and conventions. I've never seen a city that likes to gather its teams fans and celebrate mediocrity.

And charge money for it!

Suckers all around.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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