No goats

One of our panelists would like to see goatees disappear. Wow, that came out of nowhere.


4:56 PM CST, January 12, 2014


1. How should Marian Hossa rehab his upper-body injury?
Tracy Swartz: With a hot pad. Maybe he can recover Crawford's.
Julie DiCaro: By floating in a tank of liquid oxygen until he's completely and entirely healed.
Soxman: Light curling. Not that floor-sweeping Olympic sport either. No offense to floor sweepers.
Brad Zibung: 100 Stanley Cup dead lifts each day.
Ernest Wilkins: I hear there's a great massage therapist at this place called, like, the Sybaris or something.
2. Why would someone steal Corey Crawford's pads?
Tracy Swartz: Because no one will ever take the Stanley Cup from him.
Julie DiCaro: One word: Jealousy. Another word: Raanta.
Soxman: As they say in those Stay Free Maxi commercials, some days are heavier than others.
Brad Zibung: His pads now, too? First I heard it was his mask. Has he checked his couch cushions? That's where my stuff always winds up.
Ernest Wilkins: The same reason people steal pieces of toast that Justin Timberlake bit. Fans are NUTS.
3. In addition to instant replay, what should MLB be testing during spring training?
Tracy Swartz: Its players.
Julie DiCaro: Android umpires, which shall be known as "Joe Wests."
Soxman: Not what, who. The answer is Ryan Braun, Jhonny Peralta and Nelson Cruz.
Brad Zibung: A way to not need instant replay.
Ernest Wilkins: For goatees? The wispier they are, the longer the suspension.
4. Now that Peyton Manning has been cleared to play next season ...
Tracy Swartz: ... old Man-ning can relax.
Julie DiCaro: ... Richard Sherman should get next year's postgame speech ready.
Soxman: ... fantasy football players owning him in dynasty leagues can give a sigh of relief.
Brad Zibung: ... we're all sentenced to another year of endless endorsements and "Omaha!" jokes.
Ernest Wilkins: ... the Broncos are winning the title. Sucks but it's true.
5. If not Carmelo Anthony, whom should be Bulls bring into the fold?
Tracy Swartz: They need someone to complement Joakim Noah besides me.
Julie DiCaro: I'd love some Kevin Love. And not just because of the beard.
Soxman: How about Adam Dunn? He helped Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey win gold.
Brad Zibung: Another Joakim Noah would be nice.
Ernest Wilkins: Same answer as in '08: LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE, baby.