1. What's in store for the Hawks in the next round of the playoffs?
Clark Jones: I expect them to be riding HIGH after they smoke Colorado in the next series.
Aly Bockler: Coach Q's crotch-grab message was well-received, so let's step it up with a mooning.
Scott Bolohan: Lighting fixtures. The store was Restoration Hardware.
John Dooley: Angry Patrick Roy Face.
Angi Taylor: Another winning series and scratchy playoff beards.
2. The Bulls are so desperate to win Game 5 ...
Clark Jones: ... Michael Jordan is getting random text messages that read "still got it?"
Aly Bockler: ... they are even putting pine tar on their necks?!
Scott Bolohan: ... Derrick Rose just blew out his knee thinking about returning.
John Dooley: ... they'll sell their soul for a win.
Angi Taylor: ... D-Rose will be the first wheelchair starter for the Bulls.
3. If a 49ers fan can sue the NFL for $50 million, what can Bears fans do?
Clark Jones: At least write a letter to the McCaskeys to bring back cheerleaders.
Aly Bockler Sue the park district for that crab grass of a football field.
Scott Bolohan: Drink.
John Dooley: Sue the Bears for criminal neglect for letting us watch crappy QBs for 70 years.
Angi Taylor: Sue Jay Cutler for his inability to crack a smile.
4. How important are the White Sox's games against Detroit this week?
Clark Jones: About as important as Shakira's opinion on "The Voice."
Aly Bockler: Uh, first-place important! Cabrera vs. Abreu in a good old-fashioned slugfest!
Scott Bolohan: About as important as the other 90 times they play.
John Dooley: It's important for us so we can get the annual Fake White Sox Hope back.
Angi Taylor: Very. Rumor is that if they don't win the series, they'll be forced to live in Detroit as punishment.
5. What's the secret to Jason Hammel's great start for the Cubs?
Clark Jones: Shhhhh, nobody tell him he's playing for the Cubs.
Aly Bockler: A locker full of 100th anniversary slices from Buddy "the Cake Boss" Valastro.
Scott Bolohan: The new way Hammel toes the rubber.
John Dooely He pretends he's wearing Yankees jersey.
Angi Taylor: That sweet goatee of his. P.S. ... chicks LOVE goatees. *sarcasm*