Tribune file photo
The Chicago Cubs are on the hunt for some new blood to invite as the 7th inning stretch guests at home games this season-- "A-listers" who actually know a little bit about the Cubs or just baseball in general. Seeing as they admitted they're struggling to find important people who they can PAY to come to their games, it shouldn't come as a shock that the Cubs have apparently overlooked their greatest celebrity fan asset, perhaps the greatest celebrity asset, in general.
It kind of sucks that not one person at the Cubs organization--maybe a cool, young intern or something?--has pitched the idea, "F*ck it, let's just hire Bill Murray as the 7th inning stretch guest for all of our home games." He's a native Chicagoan, a lifelong Cubs fan and the best thing to ever happen to golf tournaments. Pay him whatever he asks for, Cubs: He's worth it.
And now, a very small sampling of evidence as to why Bill Murray would make for the best permanent leader of the Cubs' 7th inning stretch:
BECAUSE HE'S THE BEST AT IT.
He doesn't hold a grudge when denied the National Anthem, still shows up like a loyal fan.
Bill Murray always dresses to impress.
Those beleaguered bases need a good luck charm, and Bill Murray is it.
He needs more opportunities to perfect his home base slide.
He can double as a bartender. Tequila for everyone!
Could be talked into performing some inspirational poetry for the players before games.
He makes time for the fans.
Rain delays wouldn't suck so much.
Actually, you know what? Shame on you, Chicago Cubs, for not recognizing the potential of Bill Murray already. He's the official "Director of Fun" for the Charleston Riverdogs--yes, he co-owns them, but so what?--and he's probably a little butthurt that you haven't asked him yet.
Yeah, you don't deserve him. Have fun with Bonnie Hunt this summer!
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