So by now you've heard there's a third baseball team in Chicago. They generally draw better TV ratings than the professional teams here in town, and they're awesome.
Jackie Robinson West. Survivors, if you will. And the message is clear: Baseball is alive and well in urban communities like Chicago.
I've even got a new favorite player: Pierce Jones. What a great name. No need to change it, Hollywood.
The bad news is of course this: Guys, you're being overshadowed by a girl. Sorry. Mo'Ne Davis is stealing some thunder, but she's phenomenal. We'll have to allow it.
I'll just say this in the meantime. If any of these guys are available to start playing for the White Sox, I'd say they're worth a look.
Because I recently saw this headline: "Adam Dunn ponders retirement." Adam, you have my blessing. Go in peace. In fact, don't wait until the season ends. We're fine without you.
I would also suggest Gordon Beckham consider retirement as well. I'm sorry, but it's been five years of watching him get exactly the pitch he wants—and either fouling it back or getting under it.
He's just not a good hitter. So we move on.
To football, of course. Hey! We found a third wide receiver! Santonio Holmes. Some say we're getting desperate. Maybe it's because we are!
My only thought is: "Welcome! There's no way he's worse than anyone else we've tried." And besides, with Marshall and Jeffery on the team, if this guy can't get open, he also needs to retire.
Alternative: I must be the only one who misses Earl Bennett. Good news: He's available. More good news: He already knows the playbook. More good news: He's already passed the Jay Cutler test.
Again I say, at only 27 years old, a solid pickup.
So glad we have little problems like this, compared with the bigger problem of Derrick Rose's comeback. "Is he resting?" "Are his knees sore?" "How much pain is he in?" These are the questions racing through my brain.
Silly me. I actually thought we were past this.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye Sports' Facebook page.