1. By the end of the NHL postseason, we'll be talking about ...
Matt Pais: ... robots taking over the Earth. Probably won't happen; if it does, we'll have to talk about it.
Jay St. Pierre: ... baseball, basketball, maybe the NFL draft? All sports more important than hockey!
Jane Monzures: ... how great our suntans look and how hot it's been!
Lisa Arnett: ... why K-Cav and Jay named chose such a ridiculous name for their second-born.
Kate Bernot ... how itchy dudes' playoff beards are.
2. Give a nickname to Niklas Hjalmarsson's newborn son, Theo.
Matt Pais: Theo "Unpredictable" Hjalmarsson. Because he was just born.
Jay St. Pierre: Theon Greyjoy! Wait, he's not having a good season so far on "Game of Thrones." Let me keep thinking.
Jane Monzures: "Nattuggla."
Lisa Arnett: I can't figure out how to shorten Theo, so it's gotta be Hjaly.
Kate Bernot: "Silent H."
3. If D-Rose's comeback was "The Return," what should Patrick Kane's be called?
Matt Pais: "Return of the Mack." Falsetto not included.
Jay St. Pierre: "The Kaner Comeback."
Jane Monzures: "The Mullet."
Lisa Arnett: "He's baaaaaack."
Kate Bernot: "Pat Trick."
4. Why is everything "cloudy" for Carmelo Anthony right now?
Matt Pais: Could be his career. Or his health. Or his ill-advised homemade Lemon Chill outfit, "'Melo Yellow."
Jay St. Pierre: He must be hanging out with Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa or Chief Keef.
Jane Monzures: He's been hanging out with Joakim Noah too much.
Lisa Arnett: He's been spending too much time in the steam room.
Kate Bernot: He, like Joakim Noah, just found out it snowed this week.
5. How is A.J. Pierzynski spending his time back in Chicago this week?
Matt Pais: Trying to prove that his return should be called "Return of the Mack." Not happening.
Jay St. Pierre: By talking to White Sox players about what it's like to be on a winning squad.
Jane Monzures: Probably in line getting his Maxwell Street Polish fix.
Lisa Arnett: Trying to sort out which color Sox he plays for these days.
Kate Bernot: Shoving as many Italian beef sandwiches in his duffel bag as he can.