1. Who's got the best playoff beard in Chicago so far?
|Leonor Vivanco: Oduya. Oh, do ya know anybody with a better beard? Didn't think so.|
|Katie Gibson: Your mom.|
|Soxman: White Sox fans. After a surprising April we're optimistically starting early!|
|Julie DiCaro: Brandon Bollig. Hands down. He's up there with Kevin Love.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Joe. Joe MAMA. Dayummmmmmm. *hits the Nae Nae*|
2. Congratulate Duncan Keith on being a Norris Trophy finalist.
|Leonor Vivanco: Congrats buddy. Now maybe Dunkin' Donuts will be a team sponsor or at least create a Duncan doughnut.|
|Katie Gibson: Can I do the congratulatory butt slap? Please say I can do the congratulatory butt slap.|
|Soxman: Wait a minute. Chuck Norris has his own trophy?|
|Julie DiCaro: Congrats, eh?|
|Ernest Wilkins: Congrats Duncan! You're the best whatever the hell qualifies you for the Norris Trophy in the world!|
3. Jose Abreu is to Miguel Cabrera as ...
|Leonor Vivanco: ... Emma Stone is to Jimmy Fallon. Girl's got mad lip-sync skills.|
|Katie Gibson: ... Jennifer Lawrence is to Miley Cyrus. No comparison on who's hotter.|
|Soxman: ... Batman is to the Joker. (Soxman is to Elliott Serrano is a close second.)|
|Julie DiCaro: ... Miley Cyrus is to Loretta Lynn. Little early for that, don'tcha think?|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... I am to LeBron James. We're both rapidly balding brown men.|
4. White Sox pitcher Scott Carroll says he'll endorse anything. Discuss.
|Leonor Vivanco: Pepto-Bismol should call him because this baseball season will make fans sick to their stomachs.|
|Katie Gibson: Tony Siragusa is currently endorsing men's incontinence products. Good luck, kid.|
|Soxman: If you just asked yourself "who is Scott Carroll?" you have your answer.|
|Julie DiCaro: Two words: Nutty Buddy.|
|Ernest Wilkins: I'd like to announce that White Sox pitcher Scott Carroll has signed with my new company, Deez.|
5. Sum up this April in Chicago sports in five words or fewer.
|Leonor Vivanco: That's hockey, baby!|
|Katie Gibson: Heartbreaks and heart attacks, baby.|
|Soxman: Jose! Jose! Jose! Jose! (Abreu)|
|Julie DiCaro: Cold.|
|Ernest Wilkins: OT games suck "Deez." (Endorsed by Scott Carroll.)|