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redeyechicago.com

Hey now ...

Time for my mom to unleash hell on a couple of our panelists. They know what they did.

6:50 PM CDT, July 19, 2012

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1. Who's got the best playoff beard in Chicago so far?
Leonor Vivanco: Oduya. Oh, do ya know anybody with a better beard? Didn't think so.
Katie Gibson: Your mom.
Soxman: White Sox fans. After a surprising April we're optimistically starting early!
Julie DiCaro: Brandon Bollig. Hands down. He's up there with Kevin Love.
Ernest Wilkins: Joe. Joe MAMA. Dayummmmmmm. *hits the Nae Nae*
2. Congratulate Duncan Keith on being a Norris Trophy finalist.
Leonor Vivanco: Congrats buddy. Now maybe Dunkin' Donuts will be a team sponsor or at least create a Duncan doughnut.
Katie Gibson: Can I do the congratulatory butt slap? Please say I can do the congratulatory butt slap.
Soxman: Wait a minute. Chuck Norris has his own trophy?
Julie DiCaro: Congrats, eh?
Ernest Wilkins: Congrats Duncan! You're the best whatever the hell qualifies you for the Norris Trophy in the world!
3. Jose Abreu is to Miguel Cabrera as ...
Leonor Vivanco: ... Emma Stone is to Jimmy Fallon. Girl's got mad lip-sync skills.
Katie Gibson: ... Jennifer Lawrence is to Miley Cyrus. No comparison on who's hotter.
Soxman: ... Batman is to the Joker. (Soxman is to Elliott Serrano is a close second.)
Julie DiCaro: ... Miley Cyrus is to Loretta Lynn. Little early for that, don'tcha think?
Ernest Wilkins: ... I am to LeBron James. We're both rapidly balding brown men.
4. White Sox pitcher Scott Carroll says he'll endorse anything. Discuss.
Leonor Vivanco: Pepto-Bismol should call him because this baseball season will make fans sick to their stomachs.
Katie Gibson: Tony Siragusa is currently endorsing men's incontinence products. Good luck, kid.
Soxman: If you just asked yourself "who is Scott Carroll?" you have your answer.
Julie DiCaro: Two words: Nutty Buddy.
Ernest Wilkins: I'd like to announce that White Sox pitcher Scott Carroll has signed with my new company, Deez.
5. Sum up this April in Chicago sports in five words or fewer.
Leonor Vivanco: That's hockey, baby!
Katie Gibson: Heartbreaks and heart attacks, baby.
Soxman: Jose! Jose! Jose! Jose! (Abreu)
Julie DiCaro: Cold.
Ernest Wilkins: OT games suck "Deez." (Endorsed by Scott Carroll.)