Green light

Does wearing a Packers jersey count as proper St. Patrick's Day garb in Chicago? Discuss among yourselves.


4:56 PM CST, January 12, 2014


1. What do you call the day after Selection Sunday?
Megan Crepeau: Mother[bleeping] March Madness Monday.
Pete McMurray: O'Bracketology Monday! Green beer and brackets! Doesn't get any better, unless Sabrina from the office wants to get busy!
Sarah Spain: Mope Monday -- a Northwestern tradition since 1939.
Elliott Serrano: I Can't Believe I Drank That Much Green Beer Monday.
Emily Brown: Mayhem Monday. Everyone’s in such a rush to finish their bracket, the internet may come crashing down.
2. How many brackets is the right amount to fill out?
Megan Crepeau: Be an adult. Take pride in your choices: Pick one and stick with it.
Pete McMurray: You can't have enough enough brackets! Does Lady Gaga have enough pairs of shoes? I think NOT!
Sarah Spain:  However many it takes to win Buffett's Billion-Dollar bracket.
Elliott Serrano:  Equal to the number of green beers as I drank this weekend. Not sure how many but I kept hearing "just one more."
Emily Brown: Just one. Get it right the first time.
3. St. Patrick's Day is to Chicago sports as ...
Megan Crepeau: ... [vomits all over Clark Street].
Pete McMurray: ... Irish whiskey is to Beverly residents. Mother's milk, my friends. May the road rise to greet you when you pass out cold.
Sarah Spain: St. Patrick's Day has temporarily rendered me incapable of answering tricky analogy questions.
Elliott Serrano: ... drinking green beer is to hanging out in downtown Chicago. You couldn't have one without the other.
Emily Brown: Nothing. Once a year everything’s green and everyone is Irish for a day. What can compare?
4. What's Julius Peppers' first order of business as a Green Bay Packer?
Megan Crepeau: Get some cheese to go with that Peppers.
Pete McMurray: Get that money in a bank account ASAP! Then, see if that beat-up body can can fake it for another season or two.
Sarah Spain: Cash his paycheck. (Second order of business: Coast.)
Elliott Serrano: Getting his jersey sized? That disgusting green jersey. I never want to see anything green again. Ever.
Emily Brown: Hide all evidence of his Bears days. Those Packers fans are crazy.
5. Which Bear is happiest Charles Tillman is back?
Megan Crepeau: Martellus Bennett, because "The Black Unicorn and Peanut" sounds like the crime-fighting duo this town deserves.
Pete McMurray: Boo Bear? How about Yogi Bear? Papa Bear? What about Honey Bear? Bear essentials? Regardless ... BEAR DOWN!
Sarah Spain: Charles Tillman.
Elliott Serrano: Mrs. Tillman. Now shut up and let me sleep off this hangover.
Emily Brown: Tim Jennings. He needs his wingman.