1. Ernest Wilkins will try to score on Fire goalkeeper Sean Johnson on Wednesday. Any advice?
Tracy Swartz: Don't try to impress him with your job. He's the real "catch."
Julie DiCaro: Don't use your toe. Shoot low and for the corners.
Soxman: No advice, Ernest is quite "the playa" already. He says he scores all the time.
Brad Zibung: Can you go five-hole in soccer? Otherwise, I've got nothing.
Ernest Wilkins: Use your instep! Also, remember to listen to Plies beforehand. #Frathouse #TheEmpire #WeCantBeStopped
2. What worries you most about the Hawks' season so far?
Tracy Swartz: Taylor Swift has already ruined "22." We don't need her lady luck.
Julie DiCaro: Are they peaking too early? I'm afraid they're peaking too early.
Soxman: They don't score like Ernest Wilkins (says he does) when he's on the "power play."
Brad Zibung: Those three OTLs are really concerning.
Ernest Wilkins: Going to the fridge to get a drink, only to return and find that six goals have been scored.
3. What company should buy the naming rights to Halas Hall?
Tracy Swartz: CBS. Then they could call it "Arsenio Hall."
Julie DiCaro: I don't want anyone who has anything to do with cheese. Or Vikings.
Soxman: Oscars host Seth MacFarlane. Bears fans would see plenty of good "offensive" lines that way.
Brad Zibung: It would have to be a local corporation that has millions to burn. The only one I know is the Bears themselves.
Ernest Wilkins: Cash Money Records, if only so that the Birdman can achieve his dream of getting a platinum football field.
4. College hoops' conference tournaments are under way. How do you feel?
Tracy Swartz: Gators are ready to clinch, er, clink glasses. Lick-drink-SEC.
Julie DiCaro: Ready to watch my Hoosiers go all the way, baby!
Soxman: Players with big game, scoring frequently—I feel inadequate.
Brad Zibung: Like I do every year around this time: anxious for my annual spring training trip to Mesa.
Ernest Wilkins: The one-night stand that was Florida State's ACC title has appeared to have come to an end. Hope they got cab fare!
5. Tell us what you know about the World Baseball Classic.
Tracy Swartz: Eh. I prefer March Madness to Merch Madness.
Julie DiCaro: Anthony Rizzo is playing for Italy and will probably get hurt in the process.
Soxman: Any game the Chicago White Sox play is considered a World Baseball Classic.
Brad Zibung: I know I'm going to see the U.S. vs. Italy in Phoenix on Saturday night.
Ernest Wilkins: I know that Canada has a team. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ