1. What is the Bears' main goal for Friday's preseason opener?
|Katie Gibson: Get through the game without killing each other.|
|Evan F. Moore: Find out who vandalized those suites at Soldier Field. That may have rattled the team.|
|Phil Thompson: My name is Martellus Bennett and I ain't in it. (But I am in a full body cast.)|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Avoid injuries. And keep Martellus Bennett sedated at an undisclosed location.|
|Bag Boy: Make the game seem five hours longer than it is.|
2. Better event to watch: The U.S. swimming national championships or preseason NFL?
|Katie Gibson: ERMAHGERD FOOTBALL. (Sorry, got excited.)|
|Evan F. Moore: Preseason football. Look around the sports landscape. We need our fix!|
|Phil Thompson: I'd watch preseason NFL over the World Series. Sorry, not sorry.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Let me rephrase the question. "Which event is more likely to force you to gouge your eyes out?"|
|Bag Boy: Preseason NFL. You never go "I'm watching the third-rounder!" at a swim meet.|
3. Which Chicago athlete would make a great Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?
|Katie Gibson: Brandon Marshall would make an excellent Leonardo.|
|Evan F. Moore: Javier Baez. See that swing? He can handle some nunchuks.|
|Phil Thompson: Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo and their long lost cousin ... Nikola.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Robbie Gould, because he actually is one.|
|Bag Boy: Martellus Bennett.|
4. If Tiger Woods' spine could talk, what would it say about this weekend's PGA Championship?
|Katie Gibson: "Please no."|
|Evan F. Moore: "Retire bruh. We got all the $$$ we need."|
|Phil Thompson: "Spasm? I don't even know him!"|
|Jimmy Greenfield: "Swing, baby."|
|Bag Boy: "Yeah, I think I'm ready to go!" *crack*|
5. Lupe Fiasco is to recruiting athletes as ...
|Katie Gibson: ... ahem. Enhancement pills are to the menfolk. Only great if it actually works.|
|Evan F. Moore: ... like Joakim Noah doing the same. Nothing wrong with cold calling.|
|Phil Thompson: ... Derrick Rose is to recruiting athletes.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: ... not knowing anything about Lupe Fiasco is to making an analogy in Five on Five.|
|Bag Boy: ... I am to making rap music. I've never tried it.|