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So-Chi

Anyone else wondering why they stopped at 2-man luge? No? OK then.

By Chris Sosa, @redeyesportschi

4:56 PM CST, January 12, 2014

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1. If you could add an event to the Winter Games, what would it be?
Twitter/Facebook: Vince LiFonti: Shoveling out a Chicago parking spot. Judged on speed, quality and creativity of object used to save spot.
Evan F. Moore: Pothole dodging. A South Sider would win the gold easily.
Phil Thompson: Slopestyle trauma response: The snowboarder who gets the fastest medical attention lives.
Jimmy Greenfield: The 46-man luge dodge.
Bag Boy: Snowmobiling.
2. When you hear the word "slopestyle," what comes to mind?
Twitter/Facebook: @WindyCityLA When the mattress is on a tilt but you're too tired to fix it, so you just do it slopestyle.
Evan F. Moore: A teenager who sags his skinny jeans.
Phil Thompson: Peyton Manning's throwing motion.
Jimmy Greenfield: "Heeeeeey, sexy lady!"
Bag Boy: Something I tried in college -- I passed out for four days.
3. The Olympics opening ceremonies wouldn't be the same without ___.
Twitter/Facebook: @davelosso All those dancing bears. Who taught them how to dance?!
Evan F. Moore: A heavy amount of jingoism.
Phil Thompson: A parade of stray dogs riding nonflushing toilets filled with yellow water down a half-paved street. Thanks, Sochi.
Jimmy Greenfield: That one country whose name you didn't realize actually started with a different letter.
Bag Boy: Oh, the wonderful silly uniforms.
4. How should the Bears spend the money from their increased ticket prices?
Twitter/Facebook: @rookiephenom Trade Conte and double down on 13 cheerleaders and a popcorn stand.
Evan F. Moore: Spend the dough on a defensive tackle who won't get blocked into the Field Museum.
Phil Thompson: Pass rusher. Now ponder this: If you're peddling defense signs outside the stadium, does that make you a "D" fence?
Jimmy Greenfield: Return the money by decreasing ticket prices. Win-win.
Bag Boy: That thing they did with their offense last offseason? Do it again with the defense.
5. What should the new David Beckham-owned MLS team be called?
Twitter/Facebook: @Losso_Fitness Fauxhawk Down.
Evan F. Moore: Manchester Madrid Galaxy. You know, after some of the teams Beckham has played for.
Phil Thompson: Becks on the Beach. Could also double as the name of a cocktail served at the stadium.
Jimmy Greenfield: The Miami I Really Could Not Care Less.
Bag Boy: The Bend-its. That's from "Bend it Like Beckham," oh never mind.
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