Five on Fives: Playing for keeps
It's about to get real for the Bears. For these five? Not so much.
1. What's the important thing to take from the Bears' preseason?
|Phil Thompson: Urlacher should just avoid any hint of scandal and tell us now where he plans to get his prostate exam.|
|Tracy Swartz: Da end is here.|
|Alex Quigley: If you're a player about to be cut, take as much free food as possible.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: The Bears are not who Jerry Angelo thought they were.|
|Bag Boy: I'd take a rest. Real season starts soon enough.|
2. What do the Bears say to players when they release them?
|Phil Thompson: "Have you thought about trying out for the lingerie football team?" *hands them a Bliss uniform*|
|Tracy Swartz: "Go Chi-bernate."|
|Alex Quigley: "I'm sorry. The McCaskey tribe has spoken."|
|Jimmy Greenfield: "Thank you, and don't forget to take your concussion with you when you leave."|
|Bag Boy: "You're welcome to try out with anyone else ... except the Packers."|
3. Former Bears running back Cedric Benson says he's in his prime. What does he mean?
|Phil Thompson: He means he's primed to run in the TD that knocks the Bears out of playoff contention. #greenbaywithenvy|
|Tracy Swartz: The steaks are high.|
|Alex Quigley: He's achieved a good boating buzz but isn't quite drunk yet.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: He just means he's now in Green Bay, where weed is referred to as "prime."|
|Bag Boy: I'm predicting he'll have more touchdowns than arrests.|
4. The NFL plans to use replacement refs in Week 1. Time to panic?Tracy Swartz: Jimmy Greenfield: Phil Thompson: Alex Quigley: Dead serious: this will be an utter disaster that'll affect the playoff field.Bag Boy: Yes.
|Phil Thompson: Strahan was a Giant ... just like Frank Gifford ... who's married to Kathie Lee ... who was Regis' old partner.|
|Tracy Swartz: Go subs go.|
|Alex Quigley: Because ... he got the job already?|
|Jimmy Greenfield: No, it's time to panic when the scab refs become the real part-time refs.|
|Bag Boy: A nice combination of charm and looks. Yes, I left out brains.|
5. After the White Sox's series with second-place Detroit this weekend ...
|Phil Thompson: ... it won't be half as panicky as the four-game home series with first-place Detroit in 1 1/2 weeks.|
|Tracy Swartz: ... "Labor Day Sale" will have a new meaning.|
|Alex Quigley: ... Adam Dunn's batting average will be lower than his strikeout total. Book it. Done.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: ... everything will be status quo. Tigers are not good. White Sox are. See ya in October.|
|Bag Boy: ... they will somehow still be in first.|
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