1. What's the important thing to take from the Bears' preseason?
Phil Thompson: Urlacher should just avoid any hint of scandal and tell us now where he plans to get his prostate exam.
Tracy Swartz: Da end is here.
Alex Quigley: If you're a player about to be cut, take as much free food as possible.
Jimmy Greenfield: The Bears are not who Jerry Angelo thought they were.
Bag Boy: I'd take a rest. Real season starts soon enough.
2. What do the Bears say to players when they release them?
Phil Thompson: "Have you thought about trying out for the lingerie football team?" *hands them a Bliss uniform*
Tracy Swartz: "Go Chi-bernate."
Alex Quigley: "I'm sorry. The McCaskey tribe has spoken."
Jimmy Greenfield: "Thank you, and don't forget to take your concussion with you when you leave."
Bag Boy: "You're welcome to try out with anyone else ... except the Packers."
3. Former Bears running back Cedric Benson says he's in his prime. What does he mean?
Phil Thompson: He means he's primed to run in the TD that knocks the Bears out of playoff contention. #greenbaywithenvy
Tracy Swartz: The steaks are high.
Alex Quigley: He's achieved a good boating buzz but isn't quite drunk yet.
Jimmy Greenfield: He just means he's now in Green Bay, where weed is referred to as "prime."
Bag Boy: I'm predicting he'll have more touchdowns than arrests.
4. The NFL plans to use replacement refs in Week 1. Time to panic?Tracy Swartz: Jimmy Greenfield: Phil Thompson: Alex Quigley: Dead serious: this will be an utter disaster that'll affect the playoff field.Bag Boy: Yes.
Phil Thompson: Strahan was a Giant ... just like Frank Gifford ... who's married to Kathie Lee ... who was Regis' old partner.
Tracy Swartz: Go subs go.
Alex Quigley: Because ... he got the job already?
Jimmy Greenfield: No, it's time to panic when the scab refs become the real part-time refs.
Bag Boy: A nice combination of charm and looks. Yes, I left out brains.
5. After the White Sox's series with second-place Detroit this weekend ...
Phil Thompson: ... it won't be half as panicky as the four-game home series with first-place Detroit in 1 1/2 weeks.
Tracy Swartz: ... "Labor Day Sale" will have a new meaning.
Alex Quigley: ... Adam Dunn's batting average will be lower than his strikeout total. Book it. Done.
Jimmy Greenfield: ... everything will be status quo. Tigers are not good. White Sox are. See ya in October.
Bag Boy: ... they will somehow still be in first.