Five on Five: Well-versed
1. Brian Urlacher underwent knee surgery. Discuss.
|Brian Moore: It'll be tough relying on Jenny McCarthy to nurse him back to health.|
|Matt Pais: This relevant Bears news matters about 10,000 times more to me than Jay Cutler's baby situation.|
|Grant Yanney: Chad Johnson better keep his headbutting tactics away from No. 55!|
|Kat Velez: I guess we should just get used to him being injured every season.|
|Ben Johnson: Are you verklempt?|
2. Responding to an NFL coach via poem is like ...
|Brian Moore: ... even worse when you do it via Twitter. What, too good to text?|
|Matt Pais: ... that haiku that was not successful in winning me the slam-dunk competition. Yet.|
|Grant Yanney: ... Mark Twain cursing you out whilst running a Five Guys burger chain.|
|Kat Velez: ... responding to the person you love via play diagrams.|
|Ben Johnson: ... dew breath fixed upon summer's dying glade.|
3. The NHL collective bargaining agreement expires Sept. 15. How worried are you?
|Brian Moore: Not worried. I already know I won't see hockey this year.|
|Matt Pais: That's nearly a month. These things always cut it close. Patience, all.|
|Grant Yanney: The same amount of worry I have when I think my phone is lost, but it's just buried in my pocket. Maybe not that much.|
|Kat Velez: I'm not worried at all! Look at how slowly I'm twitching.|
|Ben Johnson: Not at all. Both sides will spring into action once they get their reminder email from Evite.|
4. Why are the N.Y. Giants experiencing so many back injuries?
|Brian Moore: Must be from carrying around that Super Bowl trophy all offseason.|
|Matt Pais: Nothing. And don't call me Sherjill.|
|Grant Yanney: Veteran players in a sport that frequently pummels them onto their back? I'm stumped.|
|Kat Velez: Eli had them all installing DirecTV satellites during the offseason.|
|Ben Johnson: From patting themselves too hard.|
5. Which Olympic athlete should guest star on a TV show?
|Brian Moore: Gabby Douglas. Anywhere. Anytime. Any reason.|
|Matt Pais: Not applicable. Would rather see TV stars attempt Olympic sports. Such as: Jason Segel, rhythmic gymnast.|
|Grant Yanney: Gabby Douglas on "Dancing with the Stars," bro!|
|Kat Velez: McKayla Maroney should follow Ryan Lochte along, making her "not impressed" face at him.|
|Ben Johnson: Ryan Lochte: "Law and Order: SVU" bad guy.|
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