1. Make a prediction for the second half of the baseball season.
Tracy Swartz: The Cubs. I'm sorry, did you say, "the second laugh of the baseball season"?
Julie DiCaro: The Cubs will continue to be not very good at baseball.
Soxman: Hype overtakes the Cubs as they change their team name to the Wrigleyville Rizzos.
Ernest Wilkins: Sox go on a tear and wrap up the AL Central by Labor Day. Boomshakalaka!
Brad Zibung: Despite hitting .000, Bud Selig will make more money than Alejandro De Aza and Anthony Rizzo combined.
2. What's the best way to decide home-field advantage in the World Series?
Tracy Swartz: Duck, duck, juice.
Julie DiCaro: Two words: sumo wrestling.
Soxman: Prince Fielder vs. Pablo Sandoval in a Nathan's hot dog eat-off. All beef!
Ernest Wilkins: Hell in a Cell, duh. That's how I picked my last apartment.
Brad Zibung: By doing the opposite of whatever MLB wants to do.
3. A USA basketball team without Derrick Rose is like ...
Tracy Swartz: ... unbearable without Pooh.
Julie DiCaro: ... a Chicago basketball team without Derrick Rose. Not very much fun.
Soxman: ... the 2012 All-Star game without A.J. Pierzynski.
Ernest Wilkins: ... me at a Sox game without a beer. Fun, yes, but it's just not RIGHT.
Brad Zibung: ... the Bulls without Derrick Rose, except Team USA will probably still win.
4. Why has it been so difficult to trade Dwight Howard?
Tracy Swartz: Superman is faster than a speeding bullet. He can't be caught by Nets.
Julie DiCaro: I heard he smells like a foot.
Soxman: Because the self-proclaimed Superman thinks anywhere other than Metropolis is kryptonite.
Ernest Wilkins: $$$. Those weird arm sleeve things don't grow on trees, you know.
Brad Zibung: Because even in the NBA he seems like kind of a high-maintenance jerk, which is saying a lot.
5. Why was Reggie Jackson barred from the N.Y. Yankees?
Tracy Swartz: It was A-Rodical decision.
Julie DiCaro: He ate a bunch of wings and wiped his hands all over Steinbrenner.
Soxman: The "Reggie Bar" occurred because the Yankees already are packed with nuts.
Ernest Wilkins: Did he not sing "Rock Me Tonight" or something? Wait, that's FREDDIE Jackson.
Brad Zibung: Please see above but replace "in the NBA" with "on the Yankees."