1. If LeBron James stars in "Space Jam 2" ...
|Pat Tomasulo: ... Michael Jordan will unretire again.|
|Scott Bolohan: ... he'll get confused with Elmer Fudd.|
|Clark Jones: ... he'll probably look a lot like Jordan; his hairline is halfway there.|
|John Dooley: ... he'll convince Earth to leave the Milky Way for a more sexier, more star-studded planet.|
|Angi Taylor: ... I'll be first in line -- at whatever is playing in the next theater.|
2. What do baseball players do when they're ejected from games?
|Pat Tomasulo: Same thing as at home -- sleep on the couch.|
|Scott Bolohan: Continue to avoid physical exertion at all costs.|
|Clark Jones: Go and hide the needles.|
|John Dooley: For me, it's the perfect time to call a friend and break out "Mall Madness" in the clubhouse.|
|Angi Taylor: Leave the park, hit the bar. (Gotta beat the traffic!)|
3. Gavin Floyd is dealing with elbow soreness. Where do the Sox go from here?
|Pat Tomasulo: Second place.|
|Scott Bolohan: Detroit on Friday.|
|Clark Jones: LL Cool J's house! We told Gavin not to go alone the first time.|
|John Dooley: If they're smart, they'll go to Buffalo so they can start drawing some fans.|
|Angi Taylor: I hear Roger Clemens is making a comeback. Who's bringing the needles?|
4. Cubs pitcher Chris Volstad snapped his 24-game winless streak. Congratulate him.
|Pat Tomasulo: "Good job, good effort!!!"|
|Scott Bolohan: "Great job, Chris. It'll look great on your Home Depot application."|
|Clark Jones: "Congrats Chris! you're one in a million, and now so is your winning percentage."|
|John Dooley: "Congratulations, Chris! You just won a trip to Pleasegetoffmyteamlandia."|
|Angi Taylor: "Congrats! Luckily nobody expected much more than this since, you know, you're a Cub."|
5. A 15-year-old won the latest LPGA tournament. How impressed are you?
|Pat Tomasulo: Not very. Her room is a mess.|
|Scott Bolohan: Depends how many 1D concerts she's been to.|
|Clark Jones: One small step for ladies golf, one giant step past some really bitter lady golfers.|
|John Dooley: My main accomplishment at15 was figuring out how to make fart sounds with my armpits. So yeah, I'm impressed.|
|Angi Taylor: Very! McKayla is still not impressed, however ...|