1. Matt Garza's season is officially over. What's his next move?
Brian Moore: Tony Stewart's sparring partner.
Matt Pais: Saying, "Oh, man, I thought this was our year." Which would make him very, very wrong.
Tony Stewart: Matt Garza? Who's he drive for?
Kat Velez: Out of Chicago.
Kevin Sciretta: Inform the rest of the team that the season has started.
2. What can you tell us about the Little League World Series?
Brian Moore: It's misnamed. It's actually really, really big.
Matt Pais: The players are way below professional age. Like 12. Total amateurs.
Tony Stewart: The kids playing right now kept at it a lot longer than I did playing in the Columbus (Ind.) parks and rec league.
Kat Velez: It's great ESPN will air this, but not hockey. Cool story, Worldwide Leader in Sports.
Kevin Sciretta: It's immediately followed by the Dad-Apologizes-For-Yelling-During-Your-Game-With-Pizza Championships.
3. Finish this sentence: If I pay $300 for sneakers, they should at least ...
Brian Moore: ... be equipped with GPS to get me to the nearest bank.
Matt Pais: ... automatically kick me in the face for doing it.
Tony Stewart: ... walk themselves.
Kat Velez: ... yell at me for dropping $300 on some damn sneakers.
Kevin Sciretta: ... take away my right to buy anything else, because what I just did was stupid.
4. Looks like Scottie Pippen was in a fender bender with his Porsche. Console him.
Brian Moore: "You can use your $300 LeBron shoes and walk your ass around."
Matt Pais: Um, no. It's a Porsche. And a fender bender.
Tony Stewart: If he drove a Chevy, the only guy needing consoling would be the othery guy. Scottie's car would be fine.
Kat Velez: "I'm sure your backup Porsche is just as nice."
Kevin Sciretta: "You're Scottie Pippen. That should do it."
5. What should Tony Stewart know about driving in Chicago?
Brian Moore: Those aren't stationary obstacles, those are actually in-service CTA buses.
Matt Pais: Most of us don't want to watch it on TV. Call me when you find a way to incorporate a ball.
Tony Stewart: It can't be worse than racing against 42 other guys, unless, of course, you're only able to get up to 2 mph.
Kat Velez: Don't do it.
Kevin Sciretta: No matter what you do, you're going to get a ticket, so just floor it.