1. What should Jordan Danks have asked for in exchange for giving his No. 20 to Kevin Youkilis?
|Tracy Swartz: A Dank-->You note.|
|Julie DiCaro: For people to stop calling him "John."|
|Soxman: Gyros, baklava and kinish from the Greek God of Walks (who's actually Jewish).|
|Ernest Wilkins: A carpetburger from The Gallows. Look it up.|
|Brad Zibung: I don't know. A medal of valor?|
2. Former Cub Marlon Byrd was suspended 50 games for using PEDs. Thoughts?
|Tracy Swartz: Performance-enhancing drugs and 50 go hand in hand.|
|Julie DiCaro: He liked to flex and hung around with Victor Conte. Shocker.|
|Soxman: Well, I guess no one will be flipping the Byrd in a trade anytime soon.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Does he know that they're supposed to make him better? No? Moving on then.|
|Brad Zibung: Whoever said MLB's steroid testing only nailed nobodies must be eating crow.|
3. Who said this: "I’m going to break his face and every tooth in his mouth"?
|Tracy Swartz: Either "The Spider" or the OctoMom. I love the eight-ies.|
|Julie DiCaro: Audrey Hepburn.|
|Soxman: Carly Rae Jepsen after he blew off her request to "Call Me Maybe."|
|Ernest Wilkins: Me, to Brad. He knows what he did.|
|Brad Zibung: I would guess a UFC fighter, but they're all such peaceful human beings that that can't be right.|
4. What's the Larry O'Brien trophy thinking when LeBron James hugs it?
|Tracy Swartz: "At your age, you're overdue for a trophy wife."|
|Julie DiCaro: "How big IS that headband?"|
|Soxman: "Michael Jordan hugged me five times better."|
|Ernest Wilkins: "As long as he keeps me away from Bosh and his champagne facials, I'm good."|
|Brad Zibung: "I'm an inanimate, soulless object and have no thoughts. Just like this guy in the huge headband hugging me."|
5. What would you do if you were invited to the NBA draft?
|Tracy Swartz: Bring Jo Noah because, you know, I just won the lottery.|
|Julie DiCaro: Stay home and watch baseball.|
|Soxman: Have a Stern conversation with the commish about the quality of NBA Finals officiating.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Wear a suit that fits me. That's it and that's all.|
|Brad Zibung: Refuse to get picked by the Bobcats. Even I have standards.|