1. What did Robin Ventura say to get ejected from Saturday's game?
Marc Silverman: "Oh yeah, the jerk store called ..."
Leo Ebersole: All he was doing was starting an earnest conversation about the ump's experiences in clown college.
Ernest Wilkins: "Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw `90210,' it was on a scale."
Elliott Serrano: "I think Aaron Sorkin's `The Newsroom' is superior to `The West Wing.'"
Sarah Spain: "Excuse me, sir, but I humbly disagree with the call you just made."
2. What's in store for Hawk Harrelson after his latest rant against umpires?
Marc Silverman: No soup for you, Hawk!
Leo Ebersole: He'll be limited to the following words for an entire broadcast: "Yes," "no," "mercy" and "Polish sausage."
Ernest Wilkins: A warm hug from yours truly that lasts juuuuust a little too long. (I'm very passionate.)
Elliott Serrano: Directing traffic in the U.S. Cellular Field parking lots.
Sarah Spain: Supernanny says he gets at least five minutes of "sit on the step in silence" time.
3. Convince Bob Brenly to stay/leave when his Cubs contract expires later this year.+
Marc Silverman: "Stay! Next year can be the summer of George, er, I mean Bob."
Leo Ebersole: "Oh man, there are so many reasons to stay: The Cubs are ... OK, yeah, I'm out of reasons."
Ernest Wilkins: "Bob-o-link, there are a lot of smoking hot PR girls on work outings to gawk at! GAWK!"
Elliott Serrano: "Stay Bob! Who else us gonna play bass at the Cubbie Bear with Len Kasper?"
Sarah Spain: "Think how terrible you'll feel if you leave just before the year the Cubs finally win ... 75 games."
4. Why was Charles Tillman called for two pass interference penalties against the N.Y. Giants?
Marc Silverman: He wasn't "master of his domain."
Leo Ebersole: Because apparently the Northeastern Wide Receiver is a gentle creature made of elf magic and tissue paper.
Ernest Wilkins: Because the white (and black-shirted) man is trying to keep him down! Damn zebras.
Elliott Serrano: Peanut told the officials he thought "The Newsroom" was better than "Sports Night."
Sarah Spain: Because these replacement refs are positively Caleb Hanie-esque at filling in.
5. Who said this: "Nobody needs to cry for me"?
Marc Silverman: Art Vandelay.
Leo Ebersole: Ernest Wilkins, after watching reruns of "Felicity."
Ernest Wilkins: *gets note from boss* Um ... I would like to apologize for my insensitive comments toward zebras.
Elliott Serrano: It was either Evita Peron or Chad "Ocho stinko" Johnson after getting cut on "Hard Knocks."
Sarah Spain: An empathetic onion.