1. The Bears should be most concerned about ___ in their preseason game Friday.
|Phil Thompson: Now that Chad Johnson's fired and T.O. can't catch, karma might move into Brandon Marshall's locker.|
|Tracy Swartz: Blank stares.|
|Alex Quigley: Rogue nanorobots. It's a secret project.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Staying healthy, staying healthy and staying healthy. Also? Staying healthy.|
|Bag Boy: The safeties. No, the O-line. No, Urlacher coming clean..I don't know. Pick 'em.|
2. How can the Bears get under Eli Manning's skin during Friday's game?
|Phil Thompson: Fixed-blade serrated combat Bowie knife. Thanks for the tip, Dexter.|
|Tracy Swartz: "Poke the hair," the New York version of "Poke the Bear."|
|Alex Quigley: Subcutaneous nanorobots, man. I'm working on it.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: Sack him, pull out his liver and eat it with some fava beans and a nice chianti.|
|Bag Boy: I'd keep calling him Peyton.|
3. What "alternative treatments" might help Brian Urlacher?
|Phil Thompson: When I hear that Urlacher got "alternative treatments" in Europe, I'm thinking Amsterdam.|
|Tracy Swartz: Cupping may help him get over the pain of his breakup.|
|Alex Quigley: Also nanorobots. I need more time, CUT ME SOME SLACK.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: After dating Paris Hilton and Jenny McCarthy, may I suggest a good dose of penicillin?|
|Bag Boy: Looks to me like someone could use an aura cleansing.|
4. Why is Michael Strahan the front-runner to replace Regis Philbin on "Live"?
|Phil Thompson: Strahan was a Giant ... just like Frank Gifford ... who's married to Kathie Lee ... who was Regis' old partner.|
|Tracy Swartz: He wants to be a millionaire.|
|Alex Quigley: Because ... he got the job already?|
|Jimmy Greenfield: I have so little interest in the question I'm rejecting it on principle.|
|Bag Boy: A nice combination of charm and looks. Yes, I left out brains.|
5. What will Derrick Rose reveal next in his next video with Adidas?
|Phil Thompson: He's hired Eddy Curry to be a human leg caddie.|
|Tracy Swartz: Foot notes.|
|Alex Quigley: NANOROBOT-POWERED SHOES. That's four out of five. You owe me $20, Jimmy.|
|Jimmy Greenfield: He's doing all his rehab work in Al Capone's vault.|
|Bag Boy: If you think he's lonely now, wait until he actually returns to the Bulls.|