1. What does "lat tightness" mean?
|Georgia Garvey: It's an illness exacerbated by acute about-to-get-traded-itis.|
|Julie DiCaro: I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you.|
|Soxman: For Ryan Dempster: trade anxiety. For Jake Peavy: business as usual.|
|Ernest Wilkins: I don't know, but it sounds hot.|
|Brad Zibung: It means you're out of commission one day or six weeks. One or the other.|
2. Now that the Hawks have re-signed Brandon Bollig, what should they do next?
|Georgia Garvey: It's the perfect time to help Kaner finally get that obedience school diploma.|
|Julie DiCaro: Sign someone to be Kaner's permanent chaperone/sponsor.|
|Soxman: Find a way to reacquire the Stanley Cup. When they had that, it was pretty awesome.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Go 'head and Bollig out of control, man! God, that's a terrible one.|
|Brad Zibung: I heard the bathroom mats in the Cubs' spiffy new offices really don't match the rest of the decor. Hint hint, Theo!|
3. What should the penalty be for flopping in the NBA?
|Georgia Garvey: Two postgames spent holding LeBron as he sobs in the locker room after a big loss.|
|Julie DiCaro: Two games wearing one of LeBron’s giant headbands.|
|Soxman: Banishment from ever contending for a championship or a lifetime contract with the Chicago Cubs.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Ten minutes in a closet with Charles Oakley. Whoo! Just got chills.|
|Brad Zibung: You have to lose another Finals to a team the rest of the world is cheering for because of how much they hate you.|
4. Kicking a tennis line judge is like ...
|Georgia Garvey: ... Roger Clemens doing steroids: It's only a bad idea if you get caught.|
|Julie DiCaro: How should I know? What are you implying?|
|Soxman: ... an instant qualifier for the John McEnroe Sportsman of the Year Award.|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... kicking a pigeon. Both visuals make me chuckle.|
|Brad Zibung: ... pretty much just that. Kicking a tennis line judge.|
5. What do you expect from Mike Tyson's show on Broadway?
|Georgia Garvey: One misdemeanor arrest per night, minimum.|
|Julie DiCaro: Blood and jazz hands.|
|Soxman: Wicked ear-biting ditties like the Jersey Boys.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Style that is impetuous, defense that is impregnable, and not a lot of kids in the audience.|
|Brad Zibung: Wait. What? That's not an actual thing, is it?|