1. Why is Patrick Kane playing so well right now?
|Clark Jones: He always gets really focused before spring break.|
|Pat Tomasulo: Deer antler spray. In his pants.|
|Scott Bolohan: He's amped up for President's Day.|
|John Dooley: Radiant power of Patrick Sharp's eyes transmitting beauty and talent onto Kane's stick.|
|Mick Swasko: He's using deer antler velvet-infused shampoo.|
2. What will we learn about the Cubs during spring training?
|Clark Jones: They are the team we thought we would see.|
|Pat Tomasulo: Probably too much about their bunting tournament.|
|Scott Bolohan: Scott Hairston's favorite yogurt.|
|John Dooley: Dale Sveum's last name still will be botched by the local media.|
|Mick Swasko: They secretly hate Eddie Vedder for that Cubs anthem.|
3. What will we learn about the Sox during spring training?
|Clark Jones: They are not the team we ever want to see.|
|Pat Tomasulo: Probably not enough about why Hawk and Stoney sit 14 feet apart.|
|Scott Bolohan: Scott Hairston's least favorite yogurt.|
|John Dooley: The team is building a new "scratch-off and Pall Mall" section at the facility that will cater to their fan base.|
|Mick Swasko: Danks forced the team to do a really embarrassing Harlem Shakes video.|
4. If Aaron Rodgers plays eight more years with Green Bay ...
|Clark Jones: ... that should be just enough time to find the new head coach.|
|Pat Tomasulo: ... the Bears won't see a Super Bowl for eight years.|
|Scott Bolohan: ... it'll be a problem for the next three coaches of the Bears.|
|John Dooley: ... the Bears get 16 more games wondering why they can't get somebody like Aaron Rodgers.|
|Mick Swasko: ... then he has plenty of time to retire and come back 13 times.|
5. Illinois has two straight wins over ranked teams. What's their secret?
|Clark Jones: They somehow keep playing schools in cities with less to do than Champaign.|
|Pat Tomasulo: I'm still stuck on Rodgers in Green Bay for eight more years.|
|Scott Bolohan: They hate the first 25 numbers.|
|John Dooley: Brandon Paul is mysteriously looking like Teen Wolf late in the second half.|
|Mick Swasko: They're borrowing Kane's shampoo.|