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1. Why is Patrick Kane playing so well right now?
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Clark Jones: He always gets really focused before spring break. |
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Pat Tomasulo: Deer antler spray. In his pants. |
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Scott Bolohan: He's amped up for President's Day. |
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John Dooley: Radiant power of Patrick Sharp's eyes transmitting beauty and talent onto Kane's stick. |
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Mick Swasko: He's using deer antler velvet-infused shampoo. |
2. What will we learn about the Cubs during spring training?
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Clark Jones: They are the team we thought we would see. |
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Pat Tomasulo: Probably too much about their bunting tournament. |
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Scott Bolohan: Scott Hairston's favorite yogurt. |
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John Dooley: Dale Sveum's last name still will be botched by the local media. |
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Mick Swasko: They secretly hate Eddie Vedder for that Cubs anthem. |
3. What will we learn about the Sox during spring training?
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Clark Jones: They are not the team we ever want to see. |
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Pat Tomasulo: Probably not enough about why Hawk and Stoney sit 14 feet apart. |
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Scott Bolohan: Scott Hairston's least favorite yogurt. |
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John Dooley: The team is building a new "scratch-off and Pall Mall" section at the facility that will cater to their fan base. |
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Mick Swasko: Danks forced the team to do a really embarrassing Harlem Shakes video. |
4. If Aaron Rodgers plays eight more years with Green Bay ...
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Clark Jones: ... that should be just enough time to find the new head coach. |
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Pat Tomasulo: ... the Bears won't see a Super Bowl for eight years. |
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Scott Bolohan: ... it'll be a problem for the next three coaches of the Bears. |
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John Dooley: ... the Bears get 16 more games wondering why they can't get somebody like Aaron Rodgers. |
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Mick Swasko: ... then he has plenty of time to retire and come back 13 times. |
5. Illinois has two straight wins over ranked teams. What's their secret?
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Clark Jones: They somehow keep playing schools in cities with less to do than Champaign. |
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Pat Tomasulo: I'm still stuck on Rodgers in Green Bay for eight more years. |
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Scott Bolohan: They hate the first 25 numbers. |
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John Dooley: Brandon Paul is mysteriously looking like Teen Wolf late in the second half. |
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Mick Swasko: They're borrowing Kane's shampoo. |