1. Make a prediction for the Cubs-Sox series.
|Leo Ebersole: Fed up with it all, the Red Line will volunteer to shut itself down early.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Some great human being will bless your boy with tickets ... right? RIGHT?|
|Sarah Spain: I predict that both teams will be embarrassed by their moron fans.|
|Elliott Serrano: The series will fall in the woods and won't make a sound.|
|Marc Silverman: The grass will be greener at U.S. Cellular Field ... literally.|
2. What should the Cubs do about all the opposing fans flooding Wrigley Field?
|Leo Ebersole: Discount admission for anyone wearing a polo shirt over another polo shirt?|
|Ernest Wilkins: Put together a competitive team so Cubs fans WANT to show up?|
|Sarah Spain: Shake their hands and thank them for giving the Cubs organization their hard-earned cash.|
|Elliott Serrano: Do like the Oklahoma City Thunder and dress everyone in home team T-shirts.|
|Marc Silverman: Have Theo build an ark.|
3. If the Thunder win the NBA title ...
|Leo Ebersole: ... traffic in Oklahoma City will be a nightmare, with as many as eight automobiles downtown.|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... then I'm going to be very happy. (And worried, as a Bulls fan.)|
|Sarah Spain: ... TV stations in the greater Seattle area might black out NBA games for a decade or so.|
|Elliott Serrano: ... the city of Miami will riot.|
|Marc Silverman: ... it'll be a Thunderstorm.|
4. If the Heat win the NBA title ...
|Leo Ebersole: ... LeBron will be validated as the league's best player and can take a break from any kind of mass communication.|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... blah. Oh wait! To the girl at SAMF who puked only to have the wind ...|
|Sarah Spain: ... LeBron will still be seven titles from his "not five, not six, not seven ..." proclamation. Keep at it, kid.|
|Elliott Serrano: ... see No. 3.|
|Marc Silverman: ... it'll be a [bleep]storm (rhymes with "quit").|
5. What did Phil Jackson mean when he called the Knicks "clumsy"?
|Leo Ebersole: I'm sure the fact they have $53 million committed to three players next season had nothing to do with it.|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... blow it back in her face? I hope you made it out OK. Yikes.|
|Sarah Spain: "I wouldn't touch that Knicks organization with a 10-foot pole."|
|Elliott Serrano: They tried courting him and spilled wine on him during the first date.|
|Marc Silverman: One bad fire extinguisher ruins it for the bunch.|