1. Make a prediction for the Cubs-Sox series.
Leo Ebersole: Fed up with it all, the Red Line will volunteer to shut itself down early.
Ernest Wilkins: Some great human being will bless your boy with tickets ... right? RIGHT?
Sarah Spain: I predict that both teams will be embarrassed by their moron fans.
Elliott Serrano: The series will fall in the woods and won't make a sound.
Marc Silverman: The grass will be greener at U.S. Cellular Field ... literally.
2. What should the Cubs do about all the opposing fans flooding Wrigley Field?
Leo Ebersole: Discount admission for anyone wearing a polo shirt over another polo shirt?
Ernest Wilkins: Put together a competitive team so Cubs fans WANT to show up?
Sarah Spain: Shake their hands and thank them for giving the Cubs organization their hard-earned cash.
Elliott Serrano: Do like the Oklahoma City Thunder and dress everyone in home team T-shirts.
Marc Silverman: Have Theo build an ark.
3. If the Thunder win the NBA title ...
Leo Ebersole: ... traffic in Oklahoma City will be a nightmare, with as many as eight automobiles downtown.
Ernest Wilkins: ... then I'm going to be very happy. (And worried, as a Bulls fan.)
Sarah Spain: ... TV stations in the greater Seattle area might black out NBA games for a decade or so.
Elliott Serrano: ... the city of Miami will riot.
Marc Silverman: ... it'll be a Thunderstorm.
4. If the Heat win the NBA title ...
Leo Ebersole: ... LeBron will be validated as the league's best player and can take a break from any kind of mass communication.
Ernest Wilkins: ... blah. Oh wait! To the girl at SAMF who puked only to have the wind ...
Sarah Spain: ... LeBron will still be seven titles from his "not five, not six, not seven ..." proclamation. Keep at it, kid.
Elliott Serrano: ... see No. 3.
Marc Silverman: ... it'll be a [bleep]storm (rhymes with "quit").
5. What did Phil Jackson mean when he called the Knicks "clumsy"?
Leo Ebersole: I'm sure the fact they have $53 million committed to three players next season had nothing to do with it.
Ernest Wilkins: ... blow it back in her face? I hope you made it out OK. Yikes.
Sarah Spain: "I wouldn't touch that Knicks organization with a 10-foot pole."
Elliott Serrano: They tried courting him and spilled wine on him during the first date.
Marc Silverman: One bad fire extinguisher ruins it for the bunch.