1. What should the Bears hope to accomplish in their second preseason game Saturday?
|Phil Thompson: Getting Robert Griffin III's autograph. RGThrilla!|
|Georgia Garvey: Convince Bears fans worried about Urlacher that it's not seppuku time yet.|
|Alex Quigley: If you read my column Wednesday, you know my answer is "absolutely nothing."|
|Stick Figure: Give Brian Urlacher a hug.|
|Bag Boy: Coming to grips with the fact that they have ... no left tackle.|
2. Playing five games against the Reds in four days is ...
|Phil Thompson: ... like a sentence handed down by Judge Dusty Baker. Revenge is sweep.|
|Georgia Garvey: ... a dream come true for the 1980 U.S. hockey team.|
|Alex Quigley: ... a great callback to the good ol' days of the Cold War.|
|Stick Figure: ... not going to leave much time to watch the Air and Water Show.|
|Bag Boy: ... a death sentence.|
3. Why are the NHL players and owners so far apart in labor talks?
|Phil Thompson: They never broke the ice! OK, I'll do better after summer's over, I promise.|
|Georgia Garvey: The owners are reading Mike Brown's new book, "The Art of Greed."|
|Alex Quigley: I couldn't possibly make another Paulina Gretzky joke here again, right?|
|Stick Figure: Do everyone have the right address?|
|Bag Boy: Two sides separated by a common language ... Canadish.|
4. Who said this: "I felt it actually tear when I laid all the way out and it just let go"?
|Phil Thompson: Has to be Kim Kardashian.|
|Georgia Garvey: Whoever it is, it sounds like they might be doing it wrong.|
|Alex Quigley: *Nods head, bites lip, points at answer No. 3, smiles*|
|Stick Figure: Sounds like someone could use some tape.|
|Bag Boy: Kristin Cavallari?|
5. Why did Rafael Nadal withdraw from the U.S. Open?
|Phil Thompson: His knees are clay achin'.|
|Georgia Garvey: His knee won't be healthy enough for Tebowing after a win.|
|Alex Quigley: He's saving his strength for the Masters.|
|Stick Figure: He doesn't want to miss anyone's barbecue on Labor Day weekend.|
|Bag Boy: Ran out of the ol' capri pants. Happens to me all the time.|