1. What should the Bears hope to accomplish in their second preseason game Saturday?
Phil Thompson: Getting Robert Griffin III's autograph. RGThrilla!
Georgia Garvey: Convince Bears fans worried about Urlacher that it's not seppuku time yet.
Alex Quigley: If you read my column Wednesday, you know my answer is "absolutely nothing."
Stick Figure: Give Brian Urlacher a hug.
Bag Boy: Coming to grips with the fact that they have ... no left tackle.
2. Playing five games against the Reds in four days is ...
Phil Thompson: ... like a sentence handed down by Judge Dusty Baker. Revenge is sweep.
Georgia Garvey: ... a dream come true for the 1980 U.S. hockey team.
Alex Quigley: ... a great callback to the good ol' days of the Cold War.
Stick Figure: ... not going to leave much time to watch the Air and Water Show.
Bag Boy: ... a death sentence.
3. Why are the NHL players and owners so far apart in labor talks?
Phil Thompson: They never broke the ice! OK, I'll do better after summer's over, I promise.
Georgia Garvey: The owners are reading Mike Brown's new book, "The Art of Greed."
Alex Quigley: I couldn't possibly make another Paulina Gretzky joke here again, right?
Stick Figure: Do everyone have the right address?
Bag Boy: Two sides separated by a common language ... Canadish.
4. Who said this: "I felt it actually tear when I laid all the way out and it just let go"?
Phil Thompson: Has to be Kim Kardashian.
Georgia Garvey: Whoever it is, it sounds like they might be doing it wrong.
Alex Quigley: *Nods head, bites lip, points at answer No. 3, smiles*
Stick Figure: Sounds like someone could use some tape.
Bag Boy: Kristin Cavallari?
5. Why did Rafael Nadal withdraw from the U.S. Open?
Phil Thompson: His knees are clay achin'.
Georgia Garvey: His knee won't be healthy enough for Tebowing after a win.
Alex Quigley: He's saving his strength for the Masters.
Stick Figure: He doesn't want to miss anyone's barbecue on Labor Day weekend.
Bag Boy: Ran out of the ol' capri pants. Happens to me all the time.