1. Now that two Bears preseason games are in the books ...
|Marc Silverman: ... book your trip to New Orleans.|
|Jim Walsh: ... I can continue saving my pennies for regular-season tix. Who's got two?|
|Ernest Wilkins: ... we should really look into getting those "Hot cheetos and takis" kids to play the season opener.|
|Elliott Serrano: ... I'm even more confident that they'll be a .500 team, just like they are now.|
|Sarah Spain: ... we know about as much -- and as little -- about how they'll perform in 2012 as we did before.|
2. How would you describe Jay Cutler's performance against Washington on Saturday?
|Marc Silverman: Offensive. And finally not the offensive offense we're used to.|
|Jim Walsh: From what I'm reading, Jay's giving Kelsey Grammer a run for his money as Chicago's boss.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Don't know, was going ham at Jeff and Bridget's wedding at the time. Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Jefe!|
|Elliott Serrano: Considering he didn't break or tear anything, it was a relief.|
|Sarah Spain: He was as smooth as a Cut-lass, as sleek as a Jay-guar.|
3. How can you tell the Yankees are in town to play the White Sox?
|Marc Silverman: Chicago gift stores lower the price of gift baskets by 50 percent. (Google "Jeter gift baskets.")|
|Jim Walsh: My friend Kevin, who for some reason supports New York, gets particularly annoying.|
|Ernest Wilkins: There's pretentiousness in the air. Wait, that's just those crust punk kids and their dogs over on Milwaukee.|
|Elliott Serrano: All those closet Yankee fans are wearing their hats. There should be a law against that.|
|Sarah Spain: Bad Chicago accents start to sound soothing after a few minutes listening to New Yorkers.|
4. What's the best way for Kevin Youkilis to treat his sore knee?
|Marc Silverman: Do not ask Brian Urlacher for help.|
|Jim Walsh: Ice ... and whiskey.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Do like the Birdman and put more ice on. *rubs hands together, makes pigeon noise*|
|Elliott Serrano: Find out what Brian Urlacher is doing and do the opposite.|
|Sarah Spain: RICE: rest, ice, compression, elevation. Or just pop lotsa painkillers.|
5. Michael Phelps may be in trouble for Louis Vuitton ads. What's next?
|Marc Silverman: Louboutin ads?|
|Jim Walsh: Now he has to carry around all his medals in regular shopping bags.|
|Ernest Wilkins: Me getting in trouble for saying that Todd Akin is a double-barreled sack of rhino(bleep). Legitimately.|
|Elliott Serrano: A role in "The Expendables 3" as a disgraced Olympic sandwich maker/underwater demolitions expert.|
|Sarah Spain: Ryan Lochte makes waves with a nude Dolce & Gabbana spread. (Wishful thinking ...)|