1. Why is the United States so good at track and field?
Leo Ebersole: The real question is, how are we not better at the beating-people-up sports? Where's our national sadism?
Jim Walsh: Contrary to popular belief, these colors DO run.
Ernest Wilkins: We've been running things so long, it's just a habit at this point. #CasualNationalism
Elliott Serrano: For starters, Americans figured out how to do the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs. Geeks rule!
Sarah Spain: Years of practice on Nintendo.
2. What will you miss most about the Olympics?
Leo Ebersole: Without a doubt, the opportunity to drop "clean and jerk" into a lazy joke.
Jim Walsh: Tie: Race walking and rhythmic gymnastics.
Ernest Wilkins: Women's fencing and people making annoying memes out of it all (last one is a lie).
Elliott Serrano: Spoilers on Twitter ... not!
Sarah Spain: People getting excited about and respecting female athletes!
3. What did you learn from the Bears' 31-3 loss to Denver?
Leo Ebersole: To beat Peyton Manning, you have to aim higher. Like, third-vertebrae higher.
Jim Walsh: We've got some work to do.
Ernest Wilkins: That people need to stop acting like preseason NFL means anything. Calm down!
Elliott Serrano: They suck without Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall, Brian Urlacher and Julius Peppers playing. Duh.
Sarah Spain: The Manning Face is just as laughable in Broncos blue and orange.
4. How will the Dwight Howard trade change the NBA?
Leo Ebersole: For one thing—and sorry to spoil the ending¿we're going to find out that the Lakers' GM is Keyser Soze.
Jim Walsh: Get ready for some Super Team showdowns.
Ernest Wilkins: Look. Isn't this the kind of super-trade that led to the lockout? What the hell, man?
Elliott Serrano: GMs will institute a new "you got what you wanted so quit whining already" clause in future contracts.
Sarah Spain: I'll start reading and caring about it again now that the Howard rumor mill has come to a stop.
5. What does Doc Rivers mean when he says Tom Thibodeau deserves an "elite" extension?
Leo Ebersole: A free polish, fried onions included, whenever he wants one, no questions asked.
Jim Walsh: Pay him. Pay that man his money. *In John Malkovich's "Rounders" voice*
Ernest Wilkins: SHOW HIM THE MONEY. Now, can someone come over and clean my crib?
Elliott Serrano: He must have been talking about hair extensions.
Sarah Spain: I think he means Thibs should get that Doc Rivers money.